Psst, hey kids, want to see some old propaganda?

Black Sunder

Rock Raiders
Officer
Jun 19, 2014
8,270
26,831
3,045
RSI Handle
Black_Sunder
If you have a collection of debris in your hangar scavenged from your own ships........you might be in TEST Squadron.

If your ingame helmet and suit are equipped with insulated beer holders.....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If your record best for flying in Star Citizens is only 2 crashes in one sitting....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you cool your CPU with beer......you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you fly with only one hand and drink with the same hand.....at the same time...you might be in TEST Squadron.

If your hangar constantly has liquid on the floor unrelated to bodily or ship function.....and its leaking from a keg you modded in....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If your Hangar trashcan is full of beer bottles and cans.....from your fellow Citizens.....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you pass out at the computer and manage to crash into your own wingman.....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you are sober and still manage to crash into your own wingman....you should probably join TEST Squadron.

If you have to check your cockpit to make sure your 'survival kit' is in the back fridge...you might be in TEST Squadron.

If your Idris has special security access for your stored beer but not the Bridge......you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you eject before crashing and it was a mistake.....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you ask a buddy to gather pieces of your wreckage to put on display....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you thought any of the above might apply to you in the present or future....you're in the right Org.

If you are more offended by the loss of your beer than by the loss of your ship......you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you think that Liquor Insurance should be 'a thing' in Star Citizen....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you have a fascination with the colors black and yellow....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you only insure your cargo when it contains liquor.....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you think spilled beer is a good reason to declare war......you might be in TEST Squadron.

If your Aurora has been lost more than the number of drinks you've ever had.....ever.....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you plan to take your Aurora out to crash into the nearest object immediately in the Persistent Universe......you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you have tried recreating a Bengal Carrier with Auroras....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you have tried docking 2 Auroras together to create a 'Super Aurora'....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you keep a photographic record of you "Best Crashes" you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you believe that ramming is the only viable option.....ever....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If your ship starts shaking and drifting side to side......you should probably take a break.......and join TEST Squadron immediately.

If you think the Aurora LN is too much of a 'high class ship'....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If your criteria for ship selection includes insulated cup holders....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you believe that the Starfarer's liquid storage tanks are only good for the transport of beer......you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you believe that ramming and crashing are not just a philosophy but a way of life......you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you look at a ship and ask the dealer if it comes in black and yellow......you might be in TEST Squadron.

If you have considered driving into oncoming traffic as practice for evasive maneuvers.....you should join TEST Squadron.

If TEST Squadron is your main organization.....you might be in TEST Squadron.

If intentionally crash into your own wingman because he 'stole your ram kill that one time'.......you might be in TEST Squadron.

100% True Montoya Facts. Except the lies that are 100% true and accurate anyway. True Lies.

Behind Montoya's bicep is another bicep.

Montoya need only call out "TEST Squadron!" and an entire flotilla of ships will appear, ready to crash on his command.

Montoya's hot tub has made for many strange negotiations. Some of which are ongoing.

Upon reaching 20,000 TEST Squadron members, Montoya's nipples will go supernova.

Montoya's wife told him to make TEST Squadron. And he did.

Chris Roberts aspires to crash his ships like Montoya.

Montoya's bald head serves as a reflection point of light in battle with the ability to blind an enemy for up to 5 seconds.

The Aurora LX (Aurora Large Xplosion) is Montoya's favorite ship.

Montoya is a pioneer in the field of mathematics having invented the Squardon.

Montoya cries over spilled Beer.

Montoya has 2 speeds: Crash and Crash Harder

Montoya has a cult following. Its called TEST Squadron.

Montoya doesn't eat food because he can only drink the tears of his enemies.

Montoya can dismiss all [CONCERN] with a simple video.

Montoya is known as Dear or Glorious Leader to his people.

Montoya cares not for your ship insurance premiums.

The Reclaimer was created on Montoya's suggestion that the Aurora crash debris would crash the servers.

Montoya will throw Javelins at any problem.

Unlike other organizations, Montoya doesn't ask TEST members to follow him but his stockpile of Beer ensures they do anyway.

Montoya can bench press and drink 200 kegs of beer in one sitting.

Montoya is composed of 90% Beer, 10% Beer logged brain, 60% bicep and 40% bald head and 100% fiery nipple.

Montoya can part the Beer Sea

Montoya does not sleep....he drinks.

Montoya can fly a Bengal by himself.

Montoya will never grow a beard but in many situations can grow a BEERD.

It is 5:00 when Montoya says it is.

A Bengal Carrier can hold exactly 1/7th of Montoya's ego

A Starfarer only hold half the Beer that Montoya requires for a Sunday.

Montoya believes in action before words. This has led to pilots crashing into the wrong targets on many occasions.

Montoya's leadership style can best be described as "Yeah whatever just don't bother me while I'm drinking" This is still working well for TEST Squadron.

Montoya delegates his primary leadershipping to the koreans for greater cost efficiency.
 
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