Unfortunately, that was a total miss. Jurassic World: Rebirth was just a dino-sized disappointment. I didn’t expect much from the story to begin with, but the character writing was so downright awful, it caused major plot holes that honestly hurt to watch. I didn’t care about a single character — not even Scarlett Johansson, and I’m usually a kind of fanboy (boy, I like her).
There was so much wasted screen time that didn’t move the plot forward at all — they could’ve easily cut 30 minutes without losing anything of value. There was nothing mysterious, nothing thrilling, and no real reunion with classic dinos, even though they awkwardly shoehorned in some callbacks to the original movies.
The whole thing reminded me of Alien: Resurrection — which, funnily enough, also had kind of "rebirth" in its plot (in German, both movies have the subtitle "Wiedergeburt"). Except Alien went full-on into ethical dilemmas and wasn’t afraid to ask tough societal questions. JW4, on the other hand, stays comfortably in its plush-pony universe. The biggest proof of that? That baby dino. OMFG…
No thanks. One viewing was more than enough. I already thought JW3 couldn’t be topped in terms of mediocrity — but JW4 pulled it off with such ease, it honestly makes me doubt we’ll ever see an entertaining, suspenseful Jurassic dino movie again.
Still, there was popcorn and beer....