a letter to the imperator

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  • Needs some work

    Votes: 5 100.0%

  • Total voters
    5

orac_zen

Space Marshal
Mar 16, 2016
219
614
2,300
RSI Handle
orak1
Dear Imperator,

I have been a proud member of the UEE for many years now. My parents raised me to love the UEE and to respect the fundamental rights of each and every citizen. I found my calling as a fighter pilot and just recently graduated from the academy. I was super excited when I found out I would be posted on the Liberator a Bengal class carrier based in the Stanton system. I had heard of the ships reputation for top gun pilots. My friend Zen and I were really surprised on our first patrol mission when we realized we had no control of our anvil hornets. At first we fought the sticks with everything we had as the ships seemed to be acting on their own. On lift off Zen's and my hornets even clipped each other's wings as Zen's fighter made a hard roll to avoid a damaged Buccaneer trying to land. It was quite a disturbing experience, especially when we ran into some pirates on the first leg of our patrol and Zen's ship just turned off its engine's and went into a flat spin while still headed towards the pirate ships. My hornet had a mine of its own and flew into a snipping position several clicks away near an asteroid. We still had ship to ship radio and were able to tell each other about our ships strange behavior, but it was little comfort as we were not able to radio the Liberator for help. Just as the pirates were bearing down on Zen both our ships com systems had this computerized voice that told us to calm down as Orac had control. It was not the ships computer's as we had extensive experience in the academy and we recognize the onboard computers voice. Whomever this Orac was he was very smug, and when we would ask a question he would give us a reply as if he was too busy to waist his time on our unsuitable questions. As the fight with the pirates pursued Orac started saying that the pirates needed to visit a criminal therapist. Apparently he was replying to the pirates threats. Both Zen and I were knocked out several times during the dog fight only to awake and see a pirate ship blow up right in front of us and Orac would be making some comment about how fragile we were. At one point the pirates actually managed to get a hit on Zen's shields Orac complained that Zen's starboard thruster was not producing the correct amount of thrust, and that Zen should log it upon return to the Liberator for repair. After all 10 of the pirates ships were destroyed Orac released control of our ships back to us, and we did not hear from him again. Zen and I went about the rest of our patrol without incident and returned to the carrier. When reporting what had happened to our commander she ordered us to log the flight as normal as it was not the first time she had heard this story, and that it would not look good on our records if we wrote about it in our reports. I will say, " I have never seen flying like that!"

Sincerly Loyal UEE Citizen
Wallpapers_16_9_0001_Jumppoint.jpg
 

Mog_No_1

Captain
Donor
May 3, 2016
499
1,533
250
RSI Handle
.
Come on people....geez......everyone is a critic.......although it contained a great many words.......I got lost at "Dear Imperator"! :p

Keep up the good work, I can see the next best seller being typed by those fingers! :D
 

DarthMatter

Space Marshal
Jul 18, 2016
1,437
6,351
2,560
RSI Handle
DarthMatter
had a mine of its own
mind of it's own?

Anyway, I like it. Just not sure why this is written to the Imperator... Maybe more suitable as a letter/report to someone higher up asking for an explanation, since the usual commander didn't answer?
 

orac_zen

Space Marshal
Mar 16, 2016
219
614
2,300
RSI Handle
orak1
2nd draft. Thanks for the constructive criticism and for reading my short story! Please feel free to provide some more!


Dear Imperator,

I have been a proud member of the UEE for many years now. My parents raised me to love the UEE and to respect the fundamental rights of each and every citizen. I found my calling as a fighter pilot and just recently graduated from the academy. I was super excited when I found out I would be posted on the Liberator a Bengal class carrier based in the Stanton system. I had heard of the ships reputation for top gun pilots.

My friend Zen and I were really surprised on our first patrol mission when we realized we had no control of our anvil hornets. At first we fought the sticks with everything we had as the ships seemed to be acting on their own. On lift off Zen's and my hornets even clipped each other's wings as Zen's fighter made a hard roll to avoid a damaged Buccaneer trying to land. It was quite a disturbing experience!

On the first leg of our patrol we ran into some pirates in a asteroid belt near the Stanton - Pyro jump point. Zen's ship engine's shutdown and went into a flat spin while hurdling towards the pirate ships. My hornet had a mine of its own and flew into a snipping position several clicks away near an asteroid. We still had ship to ship radio and were able to tell each other about our ships strange behavior, but it was little comfort as we were not able to radio the Liberator for help.

Just as the pirates were bearing down on Zen both our ships com systems had this computerized voice come over the loud speaker that told us to calm down and that Orac had control of our ships. It was not the ships computer's as we had extensive experience in the academy and could recognize the onboard computers voice.

Whoever this Orac was he was very smug, and when we would ask a question he would give us a reply as if he was too busy to waste his time on our unsuitable questions.

As the fight with the pirates pursued Orac started saying that the pirates needed to visit a criminal therapist. Apparently he was replying to the pirates threats that they were so boldly broadcasting. Both Zen, and I were knocked out several times during the dog fight only to awake, and see a pirate ship blow up in front of us while Orac was making some comment about how fragile we were.

At one point the pirates actually managed to hit Zen's shields. Orac complained that Zen's starboard thruster was not producing the correct amount of thrust, and that Zen should log it upon return to the Liberator for repair.

After all 10 of the pirates ships were destroyed with their debris floating about bouncing off our hulls, Orac released control of our ships, and we did not hear from him again. Zen, and I went about the rest of our patrol without incident.

Upon returning to the Liberator we reporting what had happened to our commander she ordered us to log the flight as normal. It was not the first time she had heard this story, and that it would not look good on our records if we wrote about it in our reports. I will say, " I have never seen flying like that!"

I am writing to you imperator to let you know about this in private so you can have the UEE inspector general look into these occurrences without it affecting my career in the UEE Navy.


Sincerely Loyal UEE Citizen
 

Han Burgundy

Space Marshal
Jan 15, 2016
2,224
9,737
2,900
RSI Handle
Han-Burgundy
Nice short story! I liked how we were left with a lingering mystery. Not every story needs to be wrapped up in a nice bow. A lot of people don't seem to get that. Keep writing, and always remember that the most important thing to do is have a good time with it. People will be critical, but just do your best to extract constructive lessons from their complaints. If there is no lesson to be learned, then the reviewer is merely full of hot air and hate. Keep on keepin' on!
 
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