Mustang Beta Commercial - Ship Porn Edition

[August]

I think this needs to be tighter and is in dire need of a voiceover - something to carry the story.

You have some beautiful cuts and your cinematography is good, but as DirectorGunner mentioned you need a narrative.

Get a script together and cut to about a minute of screen time; I imagine you have a lot of people here who would give you a VO if you wanted us to do it for you.

 

[SullyQuindarius]

Like in my opinion of the video?

Most of the visuals are stunning and compelling.

What I would suggest:
Create a narrative to keep the audience engaged. Can do via voice over or something compelling like that.
Do you really need the scene with the aurora exploding? Is it necessary? Does it make sense? (IMO my answer is no to all of those, however, the last part of the shot is really appealing)
Ending is jarring compared to the rest of the piece.. the CNOU logo isn't very clean and the VO doesn't fit the mood.

Other than that.. you got a solid shot at top 3!

But... I would REALLY create a story / narrative .. something... to go with all those beautiful visuals and nice natural transitions.
... what comes to mind is a story like they did for this promo CIG did

And to compete with Hasgaha and his team... add some motion graphics that complement the narrative.. maybe when talking about what the ship has.


EDIT:
BTW.. .we need your help to record footage for this using FOIP

Thanks for the input! In hindsight, we were thinking of having a voiceover where it's like an interview with the ship designers talking about how they designed the ship and why. That would've let us cut out the awkward voiceover at the end. One guy on my team even came up with a whole script, but I don't think I'll have the time to rework that and re-upload it for a third time :/

And lol, that song's awesome!

 

[Sirus7264]

Thanks for the input! In hindsight, we were thinking of having a voiceover where it's like an interview with the ship designers talking about how they designed the ship and why. That would've let us cut out the awkward voiceover at the end. One guy on my team even came up with a whole script, but I don't think I'll have the time to rework that and re-upload it for a third time :/

And lol, that song's awesome!

Give it a shot you would be surprised in what you can get done in a day.

 

[SullyQuindarius]

Give it a shot you would be surprised in what you can get done in a day.

The guy who would be doing the recording also has a cold or something, his voice now sounds like shit :/

Timing just is not working out well lmao

 

[Bambooza]

I think it turned out pretty solid. Maybe I'll win something for once, who knows.

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/spectrum/community/SC/forum/3/thread/mustang-commercial-contest-submissions/1597523

Link to post on the entries thread ^


And I know, guys. The Aurora scene is heresy! But it's for the cinematic-ness of the grand scheme of things. So it's a pardonable heresy.

I crashed my Mustang and now its 1666 hours until the insurance claim is done.

 

[DirectorGunner]

when's the contest deadline?

 

[SullyQuindarius]

when's the contest deadline?

11:59PM PDT. With this I doubt I'll get better than 3rd place if at all (especially with the likes of Hasgaha entering, those guys are real pros), but it was a fun learning experience. I'll definitely try next time they have a ship commercial contest, hopefully when it's announced and not see it and knock out a quick commercial two days before the due date :P

 

[Sirus7264]

The guy who would be doing the recording also has a cold or something, his voice now sounds like shit :/

Timing just is not working out well lmao

Use your voice have you tried reading monolouges before? it may take a few practice runs and you can always cut up your several runs.

 

[SullyQuindarius]

Use your voice have you tried reading monolouges before? it may take a few practice runs and you can always cut up your several runs.

I have a horrible voice for this :P I also don't have a quality mic, just a shitty headset one, and a bad voiceover is worse than no voiceover.

 

[August]

If you have a script put it up and we can submit versions for you!

 

[SullyQuindarius]

If you have a script put it up and we can submit versions for you!

*sees a day later* Too late now, but thanks so much for the offer. The other problem with that would be I can't credit you, our three team slots were already taken.

But the entries are over - good luck to all!