True facts about our glorius leader Montoya

Munken

Game Master
Staff member
Jan 1, 2014
565
580
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RSI Handle
MunkenTEST
What I've gathered so far. (some of it may be NSFW)
- Doesn't pee ore poop
- He once cut all the glass to his garden greenhouse, using only his right nipple. Nobody knows what the left one is for but its rumored to be able to end world hunger, whatever that means.
- Montoya created the first draft for Star Citizen, but gave the idea to Chris Roberts. Montoya feared that the fame would put to much distance between him and the community.
- Montoya ejaculates newborns with fully grown beards.
- Montoya doesn't cry but do occasionally leak bear from his eyes. It is said to cure blindness and hangovers.
- His deep voice will impregnate women with a boy with a rare chance of it being twin boys.
- Montoya is the son of Zeus himself, every time he stares into your eye's lightning secretly strikes down you hair follicles!
- 80% of TEST squadron joined because of Montoya's voice.
The other 20%? Because of his body.
- Behind Montoya's bicep is another bicep.
- Montoya need only call out "TEST Squadron!" and an entire flotilla of ships will appear, ready to crash on his command.
- Montoya's hot tub has made for many strange negotiations. Some of which are ongoing.
- Upon reaching 10,000 TEST Squadron members, Montoya's nipples will go supernova.
- Montoya's wife told him to make TEST Squadron. And he did.
- Chris Roberts aspires to crash his ships like Montoya.
- Montoya's bald head serves as a reflection point of light in battle with the ability to blind an enemy for up to 5 seconds.
- The Aurora LX (Aurora Large Xplosion) is Montoya's favorite ship.
- Montoya is a pioneer in the field of mathematics having invented the Squardon.
- Montoya cries over spilled Beer.
- Montoya has 2 speeds: Crash and Crash Harder
- Montoya has a cult following. Its called TEST Squadron.
- Montoya doesn't eat food because he can only drink the tears of his enemies.
- Montoya can dismiss all [CONCERN] with a simple video.
- Montoya is known as Dear or Glorious Leader to his people.
- Montoya cares not for your ship insurance premiums.
- The Reclaimer was created on Montoya's suggestion that the Aurora crash debris would crash the servers.
- Montoya will throw Javelins at any problem.
- Unlike other organizations, Montoya doesn't ask TEST members to follow him but his stockpile of Beer ensures they do anyway.
- Montoya can bench press and drink 200 kegs of beer in one sitting.
- Montoya is composed of 90% Beer, 10% Beer logged brain, 60% bicep and 40% bald head and 100% fiery nipple.
- Montoya can part the Beer Sea

Some Pictures
vuSSKa7.jpg

The new TEST Brew in Paste form

43x9MyI.jpg



If you have heard any other True Facts put it in a comment. If you want to stay anonymous you can also PM it to me.
We have been pretty silent with just how magnificent Montoya is so we urge you to spread the word of Montoya
 
Last edited:

Jernik

Space Marshal
Mar 14, 2014
24
15
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Jernik
80% of TEST squadron joined because of Montoya's voice.
The other 20%? Because of his body.
 

Montoya

Administrator
Staff member
Oct 31, 2013
10,053
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Montoya
Only 10% of what is written here is true.

The other 70% is completely made up!
 

WarrenPeace

Space Marshal
Jul 17, 2014
4,209
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Shortspark
Ohh shit Sunder i forgot all about this.
This makes my post so much less original -.-
It just shows there is so much more to know about glorious leader!
 

Black Sunder

Rock Raiders
Officer
Jun 19, 2014
8,270
26,834
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Black_Sunder
Reposting my list because I'm insufferable:

Behind Montoya's bicep is another bicep.

Montoya need only call out "TEST Squadron!" and an entire flotilla of ships will appear, ready to crash on his command.

Montoya's hot tub has made for many strange negotiations. Some of which are ongoing.

Upon reaching 10,000 TEST Squadron members, Montoya's nipples will go supernova.

Montoya's wife told him to make TEST Squadron. And he did.

Chris Roberts aspires to crash his ships like Montoya.

Montoya's bald head serves as a reflection point of light in battle with the ability to blind an enemy for up to 5 seconds.

The Aurora LX (Aurora Large Xplosion) is Montoya's favorite ship.

Montoya is a pioneer in the field of mathematics having invented the Squardon.

Montoya cries over spilled Beer.

Montoya has 2 speeds: Crash and Crash Harder

Montoya has a cult following. Its called TEST Squadron.

Montoya doesn't eat food because he can only drink the tears of his enemies.

Montoya can dismiss all [CONCERN] with a simple video.

Montoya is known as Dear or Glorious Leader to his people.

Montoya cares not for your ship insurance premiums.

The Reclaimer was created on Montoya's suggestion that the Aurora crash debris would crash the servers.

Montoya will throw Javelins at any problem.

Unlike other organizations, Montoya doesn't ask TEST members to follow him but his stockpile of Beer ensures they do anyway.

Montoya can bench press and drink 200 kegs of beer in one sitting.

Montoya is composed of 90% Beer, 10% Beer logged brain, 60% bicep and 40% bald head and 100% fiery nipple.

Montoya can part the Beer Sea

Montoya does not sleep....he drinks.

Montoya can fly a Bengal by himself.

Montoya will never grow a beard but in many situations can grow a BEERD.

It is 5:00 when Montoya says it is.

A Bengal Carrier can hold exactly 1/7th of Montoya's ego

A Starfarer only hold half the Beer that Montoya requires for a Sunday.

Montoya believes in action before words. This has led to pilots crashing into the wrong targets on many occasions.

Montoya's leadership style can best be described as "Yeah whatever just don't bother me while I'm drinking" This is still working well for TEST Squadron.

Montoya delegates his primary leadershipping to the koreans for greater cost efficiency.
 
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Munken

Game Master
Staff member
Jan 1, 2014
565
580
2,530
RSI Handle
MunkenTEST
Reposting my list because I'm insufferable:

Behind Montoya's bicep is another bicep.

Montoya need only call out "TEST Squadron!" and an entire flotilla of ships will appear, ready to crash on his command.

Montoya's hot tub has made for many strange negotiations. Some of which are ongoing.

Upon reaching 10,000 TEST Squadron members, Montoya's nipples will go supernova.

Montoya's wife told him to make TEST Squadron. And he did.

Chris Roberts aspires to crash his ships like Montoya.

Montoya's bald head serves as a reflection point of light in battle with the ability to blind an enemy for up to 5 seconds.

The Aurora LX (Aurora Large Xplosion) is Montoya's favorite ship.

Montoya is a pioneer in the field of mathematics having invented the Squardon.

Montoya cries over spilled Beer.

Montoya has 2 speeds: Crash and Crash Harder

Montoya has a cult following. Its called TEST Squadron.

Montoya doesn't eat food because he can only drink the tears of his enemies.

Montoya can dismiss all [CONCERN] with a simple video.

Montoya is known as Dear or Glorious Leader to his people.

Montoya cares not for your ship insurance premiums.

The Reclaimer was created on Montoya's suggestion that the Aurora crash debris would crash the servers.

Montoya will throw Javelins at any problem.

Unlike other organizations, Montoya doesn't ask TEST members to follow him but his stockpile of Beer ensures they do anyway.

Montoya can bench press and drink 200 kegs of beer in one sitting.

Montoya is composed of 90% Beer, 10% Beer logged brain, 60% bicep and 40% bald head and 100% fiery nipple.

Montoya can part the Beer Sea

Montoya does not sleep....he drinks.

Montoya can fly a Bengal by himself.

Montoya will never grow a beard but in many situations can grow a BEERD.

It is 5:00 when Montoya says it is.

A Bengal Carrier can hold exactly 1/7th of Montoya's ego

A Starfarer only hold half the Beer that Montoya requires for a Sunday.

Montoya believes in action before words. This has led to pilots crashing into the wrong targets on many occasions.

Montoya's leadership style can best be described as "Yeah whatever just don't bother me while I'm drinking" This is still working well for TEST Squadron.

Montoya delegates his primary leadershipping to the koreans for greater cost efficiency.
Hehe i added it :D
 
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