Notes before reading:
I am the very model of a Test squadron Spaceman,
I like to fly auroras into every single thing I can,
My favoured choice of drink is a vast amount of beer for all,
I’ll drink with anybody be they animal or mineral;
I’m very well acquainted with goonswarm and ADI,
But if they get in my way I’ll ram them out the fucking sky,
Wherever I land they always think it’s great news,
News… news… AHA!
Because my spaceship is filled up with lots of booze.
I’m very good at beer pong especially in zero-G,
I better at Sata-ball when I’ve had a couple beer in me;
I drink whisky, gin, cider, even vodka when I can,
I am the very model of a Test squadron Spaceman
I know that some might consider me a living torpedo,
To answer that I say “Join us if you want a go”,
If I’m honest most of what you write ends up quite a blur,
Because of all the alcohol of which I’m a Connoisseur;
The aliens all love us when we hand them a can of fizz,
Our interspecies diplomacy really is the best there is,
I’ve slept with hostile aliens both Vanduul and Xian,
Oooh.. Xian… Xian… GOT IT!
I really hope that she was on a contraceptive plan.
I fight for the unending glory of my Testies,
We work together to make a mountain of empties,
I quote in drunken slur all the glory of Montoya,
He is the very model of a drunken employer.
In fact I know what is meant by the terror of sobriety,
The very thought of reaching it fills me with anxiety,
When such affairs as parties and surprises I’m not wary at,
Because I came prepared with a full keg and a beer hat;
I’ve piloted many ships from auroras to a javalin,
I’ve crashed many ships often it’s a wreck I‘m in,
In short I’ve no knowledge of space combat strategy,
And I’ve never passed from a certified flight academy.
For all my great achievements, I’m still known as a drunken slob,
My org itself is known as nothing but a violent mob,
I still drink, gin, cider, even vodka when I can,
I am the very model of a Test squadron Spaceman!
Fin
- The original for the tune:
- For rhythm reasons spaceman should ideally be pronounced spa-hace-man
- To my knowledge Xian is pronounced 'She-an'
- I'm really very sorry
I am the very model of a Test squadron Spaceman,
I like to fly auroras into every single thing I can,
My favoured choice of drink is a vast amount of beer for all,
I’ll drink with anybody be they animal or mineral;
I’m very well acquainted with goonswarm and ADI,
But if they get in my way I’ll ram them out the fucking sky,
Wherever I land they always think it’s great news,
News… news… AHA!
Because my spaceship is filled up with lots of booze.
I’m very good at beer pong especially in zero-G,
I better at Sata-ball when I’ve had a couple beer in me;
I drink whisky, gin, cider, even vodka when I can,
I am the very model of a Test squadron Spaceman
I know that some might consider me a living torpedo,
To answer that I say “Join us if you want a go”,
If I’m honest most of what you write ends up quite a blur,
Because of all the alcohol of which I’m a Connoisseur;
The aliens all love us when we hand them a can of fizz,
Our interspecies diplomacy really is the best there is,
I’ve slept with hostile aliens both Vanduul and Xian,
Oooh.. Xian… Xian… GOT IT!
I really hope that she was on a contraceptive plan.
I fight for the unending glory of my Testies,
We work together to make a mountain of empties,
I quote in drunken slur all the glory of Montoya,
He is the very model of a drunken employer.
In fact I know what is meant by the terror of sobriety,
The very thought of reaching it fills me with anxiety,
When such affairs as parties and surprises I’m not wary at,
Because I came prepared with a full keg and a beer hat;
I’ve piloted many ships from auroras to a javalin,
I’ve crashed many ships often it’s a wreck I‘m in,
In short I’ve no knowledge of space combat strategy,
And I’ve never passed from a certified flight academy.
For all my great achievements, I’m still known as a drunken slob,
My org itself is known as nothing but a violent mob,
I still drink, gin, cider, even vodka when I can,
I am the very model of a Test squadron Spaceman!
Fin
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