post in these forums, here is my application.
hi there.
this isn't a funny application as requested, it's of course sober and no-nonsense. all of it is surely true (or at least looks good on paper).
here's the reason why it's a good idea to have me on board your glorious org:
1.) BEER. i am situated in austria, which is currently ranked second in the per capita beer consumption rating [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_beer_consumption_per_capita]. this means i'll have my own beer, and won't take my mate's favourite beverage.
2.) BEER-HERITAGE. my grandparents were czech. see where they are at at aforementioned list.
3.) STAYING IN CHARACTER. i rolepplay a father of a daugther in puberty who works as a sysadmin at a large ISP with a knack for mountainbiking and spacesims. 24/7. 365 days a year, and i can stay in character. even when i sleep.
4.) FLYING SKILLS. i mastered the arts of drunken-master-style-flying. twice. so while it may look like a herd of inebriated baboons is flying the vessel i am in, and while it MAY look ineffective, i swear, it's scientifically proven that it's highly coordinated and all according to a higher plan. and it makes even the most inane pilot look like maverick from top gun.
5.) VOICE. once, years back, i was asked by a moviemaker if i could do the voiceovers for a black actor on a tiny movie called shawshank something. he liked it so much i've been his secret voice ever since. i swear, this is absolutely true, and thus, i'm great to have on voice comms. i could even roleplay the ships computer. if said computer was drunk. and broken.
6.) MY SHIPS. a cutlass black and a mustang alpha. your enemies are gonna die laughing if they see this terrible and awe-inspiring threat rushing at them. and whatever you fly, even if it's a pisspot with engines stapled to it, it will look marvellous beside the pisspots i call my own.
7.) COLORS. i'm colorblind, and can only see yellow. so i won't notice the black, but can follow you around the 'verse like a flearidden, drunk mutt with only half an ear and only 3 legs left, stinking, but impossible to get rid of.
if asked, i could even bark. of mumble weird alcoholfueled shit. CRIVENS ! MILLENIUM HAND AND SHRIMP !
i hope that was more than enough reasons to let me join your crew.
keep the beer cold, we will need it.
hi there.
this isn't a funny application as requested, it's of course sober and no-nonsense. all of it is surely true (or at least looks good on paper).
here's the reason why it's a good idea to have me on board your glorious org:
1.) BEER. i am situated in austria, which is currently ranked second in the per capita beer consumption rating [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_beer_consumption_per_capita]. this means i'll have my own beer, and won't take my mate's favourite beverage.
2.) BEER-HERITAGE. my grandparents were czech. see where they are at at aforementioned list.
3.) STAYING IN CHARACTER. i rolepplay a father of a daugther in puberty who works as a sysadmin at a large ISP with a knack for mountainbiking and spacesims. 24/7. 365 days a year, and i can stay in character. even when i sleep.
4.) FLYING SKILLS. i mastered the arts of drunken-master-style-flying. twice. so while it may look like a herd of inebriated baboons is flying the vessel i am in, and while it MAY look ineffective, i swear, it's scientifically proven that it's highly coordinated and all according to a higher plan. and it makes even the most inane pilot look like maverick from top gun.
5.) VOICE. once, years back, i was asked by a moviemaker if i could do the voiceovers for a black actor on a tiny movie called shawshank something. he liked it so much i've been his secret voice ever since. i swear, this is absolutely true, and thus, i'm great to have on voice comms. i could even roleplay the ships computer. if said computer was drunk. and broken.
6.) MY SHIPS. a cutlass black and a mustang alpha. your enemies are gonna die laughing if they see this terrible and awe-inspiring threat rushing at them. and whatever you fly, even if it's a pisspot with engines stapled to it, it will look marvellous beside the pisspots i call my own.
7.) COLORS. i'm colorblind, and can only see yellow. so i won't notice the black, but can follow you around the 'verse like a flearidden, drunk mutt with only half an ear and only 3 legs left, stinking, but impossible to get rid of.
if asked, i could even bark. of mumble weird alcoholfueled shit. CRIVENS ! MILLENIUM HAND AND SHRIMP !
i hope that was more than enough reasons to let me join your crew.
keep the beer cold, we will need it.
