Right there with you. Of all the services I'll offer none of them will be free. Just ask @Blind Owl! He's used every service I have available and some I haven't. Had to make up a few for that sick bastard!
I'm totally legit and will offer low cost repair services...
"I see you have an engine out."
"What engine? They're all fine"
Pew Pew Pew
"That one! ...and that hull breach...and fire"