Hi, I'm Steve.

Metal-Muffin

Space Marshal
Aug 28, 2015
684
1,944
1,510
RSI Handle
Metal-Muffin
No, not really, I'm just Jake. Like the morning after a heavy night of drinking, I'm the shit that you never knew you needed.

I'm currently a Combat Engineer in the U.S. Army, a chef, and a whole lot of other things that bring absolutely nothing to the table of flying virtual spaceships. However, I enjoy flying virtual space ships. I'm currently in the infancy of learning to fly said spaceships; and by infancy, I mean more along the lines of a mentally disabled Orangutan that has been birthed into a chair behind a Saitek X55; and more often than not, I find myself ending a round of some spectrum matches reassuring myself with, "I doubt that Hellen Keller could have done better."

My compulsive application to Test stems from the need for interaction with likeminded individuals that have questionable judgement and marginal standards. That being said, I think that my psychologist can suck a fat hary tentacle for telling me that "Compulsiveness never works out for the best", and that "Henti will never be a healthy alternative to a real relationship."

In closing, I am glad to finally find an "organization" (lol) that I can participate in. And by participate, I mean sit behind my computer in my boxers and headset, eating Slim-Jims and drinking copious amounts of adult beverages while picking crumbs out of my belly button.

Ciao,
Jake
 

Frisbeerocker

Commissar
May 31, 2014
1,173
2,405
2,150
RSI Handle
Frisbeerocker87
This is how you make an introduction.

>mentally disabled orangutan
>questionable judgement
>marginal standards
>Hentai

Wonderful. You are exactly the kind of person TEST needs, and exactly the kind of TESTie I want to fly with.

10/10 would laugh at stupid ramblings again.
 
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WarrenPeace

Space Marshal
Jul 17, 2014
4,209
8,451
2,920
RSI Handle
Shortspark
Questionable judgement? Marginal standards? In a lot of places, those words would get you beat. Here, they get you a free beer. Welcome to TEST!
 
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Selitos

Space Marshal
Aug 10, 2015
15
11
2,185
RSI Handle
Selitos
Welcome to TEST Jake! You won't find a shortage of hentai loving inebriates here.
 

Miguelese

Commander
Aug 29, 2015
120
97
100
RSI Handle
Miguelese
Indeed an upstanding member if ever I saw one. Going to try and work out what a "slim jim" is, as I feel I am missing out on something there.
 

Selitos

Space Marshal
Aug 10, 2015
15
11
2,185
RSI Handle
Selitos
They are thin sausages made of chicken with spices. They're an American junk food, tasty yet repulsive :D
 
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Selitos

Space Marshal
Aug 10, 2015
15
11
2,185
RSI Handle
Selitos
It looks like a beef/chicken version of a Peperami. The spice totally overpowers the "meat" and they drip this strange orange oil if you squeeze them. And there is a warning on the package for high calcium since they use a machine to remove the meat from the bones and it scrapes off little bits of bone that get mixed in.
 
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Dalarast

Space Marshal
Oct 29, 2014
1,309
2,228
2,660
RSI Handle
Dalarast
Essayons! My fist MOS was a 12B so good to see a fella who likes to drag things around to blow them up!

Welcome to test! Grab a drink and snap into a slim Jim... The ranks of our military members is growing! Let's run with scissors and swim after eating.... We gonna get crazy!
 

Metal-Muffin

Space Marshal
Aug 28, 2015
684
1,944
1,510
RSI Handle
Metal-Muffin
Yeah, they're pr
Essayons! My fist MOS was a 12B so good to see a fella who likes to drag things around to blow them up!

Welcome to test! Grab a drink and snap into a slim Jim... The ranks of our military members is growing! Let's run with scissors and swim after eating.... We gonna get crazy!
SAPPERS Forward!
 
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