Jeso finds Test, or the other way around..


Grand Admiral
May 12, 2015
RSI Handle
Wrote this as my application for Test. Figured I should share it here too. Hope you enjoy!

With only a little money to his name, Jeso decided to see if he could find work at the local dive bar. He was still young and brash so he figured he could sign onto a crew. This was supposed to be the fringe bar that recruited all types. Thinking to make a fierce impression he kicked in the barroom door with authority and burst into the main room. All conversations stopped immediately and hands quickly let loose of drinks, disappearing below the tables. The eerie silence was quickly replaced by the whine of charging capacitors and the sharp metal clicks of weapons being readied.

Jeso froze completely still, realizing his silly mistake.

A booming voice from behind the bar yelled "I will evacuate this bar on the first shot!" His hand was hovering over a large button on the wall while his other hand held up some kind of safety cover that protected the button. He eyed the entire barroom with a stone glare.

Slowly, empty hands began appearing above the tables while Jeso wondered what the hell an evacuate was.

"Shut that damn door, you dumbass, and if you don't have any money you better be on the other side." The bartender peered around the bar quickly to confirm the situation was properly de-escalated and secured the cover over the button. A ragtag group of people at the end of the bar, still snickering at Jeso's spectacle, ordered another round and the bartender went back to pouring drinks.

Recovering quicker than his youth would indicate he straightened his back and walked briskly to the bar knowing that some distrustful eyes still followed him each step. "Fermented grain and one of those stinky smokes ya have in the jar." he said, pointing to a special jar of rolled green herb this region was known for.
"That'll be 3 and if you pull any more stupid shit like you just did I will you shoot you myself." The bartender stared harshly at Jeso before taking the 3 marked coins he dropped on the bar.
"Understood. Maybe you could offer some directions..." He paused giving the bartender a chance to offer his name that he quickly realized was not forthcoming. "I'm looking for a job and I read there were people here recruiting for space work."
The bartender returned with a beer and an odd cigar, setting them down on the bar. "The far corner over there." He replied, nodding his head in the direction of a large open door with few tables that were set apart from the bars main room.

Tossing his last coin on the bar Jeso nodded in thanks.

As he headed for the side room he could still hear laughing from the end of the bar. He glanced over just in time to see a big burly man with a beard burst from the group, only to pretend to kick down a door and strike a most intimidating stance, an obvious imitation of Jeso's entrance. His buddies all pulled their drinking mugs like gunslingers, pretending to shoot the bearded man. Too drunk to contain their amusement at the jest they all burst out laughing and began pounding their mugs together, whooping and yelling.

Jeso ignored their childish mocking and entered the side room. The room was bigger than he thought and the tables that lined the wall were setup with purpose. This room was dedicated to recruitment for some of the largest conglomerates and factions in the area. Each table had a banner indicating who they represented. Though not all the tables had a person seated behind it, tonight was a busy night and most of the factions had a few people gathered at their tables watching holovids or reading literature.

His eyes were quickly drawn to the red and gold banner of Imperium. A strong-jawed man dress in a sharp military uniform, displaying many ribbons, was discussing the virtues of Imperium. Jeso walked up behind the two young men, who were seated, listening to the soldier speak.
"We offer strong leadership and training. By signing our contract you will be granted full citizenship in the IAS and all benefits associated with that that title. You will be taught to fly and to fight. There is endless space to be protected."

The young men's eyes lit up as they listened; rapt by a speech that Jeso was only catching the end of. It sounded like military service and Jeso felt that might be too strict for his carefree ways. The solider did remind him of an old movie he once watched. The cadence sung in that movie suddenly and involuntarily burst from him.
"TINY BUBBLES.. in my beer! Makes me hap-py.. full of cheer."
The soldier stood with a scowl only a military man could muster.
"TINY BUBBLES.. in my wine. Feeling hap-py.. feel-ling fine." he sung loudly and with perfect tempo.

Raucous laughter erupted from the main room as some people, who had obviously heard the cadence before, picked up the song and continued singing.

The two young men whipped around to stare at Jeso, dumbfounded.
"You disrespectful punk." yelled the soldier, upset at the interruption. He pounded both fists into the table. "This is not your place and you had better 180 before I stick a boot up your ass." His face was flaring red and Jeso realized he must have hit some button.
Half snickering at the over dramatic response Jeso uttered "Relax man."
"Man!? I am a Sergeant and decorated veteran of the IAS." He was visibly trembling now and the young men stood trying to calm him down.
Jeso decided it was time to retreat but couldn't help the parting salvo. "Never knew tiny bubbles could make someone so angry."

Walking away from the table he could still hear the soldier rant in anger. In the main room a group of people, Jeso assumed it was the Burly man and his friends, were still loudly singing though now it was more like a bawdy barroom song than a military cadence.

Jeso set his eyes on an empty table across the room, trying to add some distance between him and the soldier. This table had a banner with a pitchfork stabbing into the stars. Intrigued by the odd banner he approached the table.
A young man sharply dressed in the current style stood, "Greetings young Sir, if you have a moment I would like to speak with you about Operation Pitchfork."
"You mean like farmers?" Jeso said as he sat down and the young man looked confused.
"No, we are a conglomerate of organizations that seeks the liberation of Orion and the destruction of the Vanduul. We only seek what the UEE refuses to do."
"I do not understand. How can you seek the destruction of the Vanduul with just a pitchfork?"
"No, no. Operation Pitchfork is the banner under which multiple, different guilds fly."
"Oh, I see now, you use the pitchfork to hold the banner."
"It's obvious you are not the type we seek, you should continue your search." His eyes were flashing with anger at the mocking.

Jeso decided to continue his search though he doubted he would find a place for his... odd sense of humor.

As he approached another table, this one had a banner with multiple Pegasus flying through space; he found he was no longer standing. Something grabbed the back of his jacket and pulled him off of his feet. With only his heels touching the ground he found himself being dragged back into the main bar. He tilted his head back only to see the big burly man grinning with foam still in his beard.
He laughed at Jeso, "Seems like your sarcasm is sinking your ship. I think you should meet some friends of mine."
Giving into the free ride, Jeso fished into his jacket for the smelly cigar he purchased earlier. "And who are your friends?"
"Well TEST, of course."
Jeso began to twist and resist when he heard this. "Ahh hell no, I am horrible at tests. Let me go!" His struggling was not accomplishing much though.
"Test Squadron you dumbass. You said you were looking for work right?" The burly man snickered at Jeso's efforts to get away.
As he calmed a bit, Jeso said "Ok, as long as there are no tests. I do need some work."
They covered the last few meters to the end of the bar and Jeso scrambled to his feet.

"Let me introduce you to the current Drinking Flight of Test Squadron!" The big man puffed his chest as he said this and stuffed full mug into Jeso's hand.
Everyone cheered and toasted at the last announcement by the burly man and patted Jeso one the back.

Jeso swore he heard someone call him tiny bubbles before another chorus of the song swept throughout the group.


Vice Admiral
Apr 22, 2016
RSI Handle
LOL, I scanned that post, composing a witty reply...
...stomped on the brakes and went back and reread it.

Well done :-)

You belong here.

Condolences ;-)
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