Saw this posted on the subreddit from the Test faction in ED...
I haven't played ED and know almost nothing about it, but the newscast format seems like a really good genre for TEST Squadron to appropriate utilize do funny stuff with...
[shot of newsroom showing glorious leader in a sharp suit and tie purposefully shuffling important papers on the desk, while camera slowly zooms in on him]
Good evening, and welcome to TEST News, your number three source of information in the 'verse. I am Montoya. First up, a disaster in the Vega system - we go now to our correspondent on site, Walex.
[Walex delivers a riveting, heartfelt account of the tragedy in Vega as it unfolded - 153 barrels of fine Vaginian (look, my spellchecker isn't working, and residents of Vega don't want to be called Vegans anyway) liquor were lost in a freak harpsichord accident]
[cut back to the newsroom, Montoya is looking to the side at an off-screen monitor]
So many lives, er, kegs... lost...
[Montoya swallows hard while trying to retain a stoic demeanor]
Thank you, Walex, for that report - please keep us posted. In other news, the Taranis spaceship show opened this week, and veteran reporter Captain Richard was there to check out all the new models.
[Cut to remote feed of Capt. Richard at the show, who ignores any new body styling or powerplant improvements and focuses entirely on their crash resistance, how many cupholders they have, and what their beer carrying capacity is]
Thanks very much Richard - I can't wait to ram into one of those new ships!
The latest trade tariff changes made by the UEE concerning shipments between Bacchus and Oberon are causing a lot of questions for merchants, so to give us a simple explanation of what's going on, we'll now hear from our in-house analyst, NKato.
[Camera cuts to NKato in another part of the news center, who immediately starts rattling off facts, figures, and theories at a frenetic rate while bullet points begin filling up the left side of the screen. This continues unabated for several minutes, until Montoya makes several attempts to interrupt, finally successfully]
Terribly sorry to interrupt, but, er, ah... we have a breaking news story! Yes, I found my car keys! We'll have more on that during the 10 o'clock hour, but we're out of time for this show! Tune in again at that time, as we'll be hearing from a representative from Baker Insurance on why rates seem higher for TESTies, and from race pilot Lienna on her bid to become the first to win the Murray Cup while inebriated.
[roll newsroom credits]
Camera Operator - Egriz
Editorial Desk - Munken
Hamster Control - Seung
Teleprompter - AntiSqueaker
Meteorologist - RussianJ
...etc.
The real key to making it work would be the tickers at the bottom of the screen. The stock ticker would not actually track stocks, but going prices for various beer brands. And of course the news ticker is where all the real fun would happen and would consist mostly of TEST antics, references to nipples, awful puns, and various forms of jimmy rustling.
[shot of newsroom showing glorious leader in a sharp suit and tie purposefully shuffling important papers on the desk, while camera slowly zooms in on him]
Good evening, and welcome to TEST News, your number three source of information in the 'verse. I am Montoya. First up, a disaster in the Vega system - we go now to our correspondent on site, Walex.
[Walex delivers a riveting, heartfelt account of the tragedy in Vega as it unfolded - 153 barrels of fine Vaginian (look, my spellchecker isn't working, and residents of Vega don't want to be called Vegans anyway) liquor were lost in a freak harpsichord accident]
[cut back to the newsroom, Montoya is looking to the side at an off-screen monitor]
So many lives, er, kegs... lost...
[Montoya swallows hard while trying to retain a stoic demeanor]
Thank you, Walex, for that report - please keep us posted. In other news, the Taranis spaceship show opened this week, and veteran reporter Captain Richard was there to check out all the new models.
[Cut to remote feed of Capt. Richard at the show, who ignores any new body styling or powerplant improvements and focuses entirely on their crash resistance, how many cupholders they have, and what their beer carrying capacity is]
Thanks very much Richard - I can't wait to ram into one of those new ships!
The latest trade tariff changes made by the UEE concerning shipments between Bacchus and Oberon are causing a lot of questions for merchants, so to give us a simple explanation of what's going on, we'll now hear from our in-house analyst, NKato.
[Camera cuts to NKato in another part of the news center, who immediately starts rattling off facts, figures, and theories at a frenetic rate while bullet points begin filling up the left side of the screen. This continues unabated for several minutes, until Montoya makes several attempts to interrupt, finally successfully]
Terribly sorry to interrupt, but, er, ah... we have a breaking news story! Yes, I found my car keys! We'll have more on that during the 10 o'clock hour, but we're out of time for this show! Tune in again at that time, as we'll be hearing from a representative from Baker Insurance on why rates seem higher for TESTies, and from race pilot Lienna on her bid to become the first to win the Murray Cup while inebriated.
[roll newsroom credits]
Camera Operator - Egriz
Editorial Desk - Munken
Hamster Control - Seung
Teleprompter - AntiSqueaker
Meteorologist - RussianJ
...etc.
The real key to making it work would be the tickers at the bottom of the screen. The stock ticker would not actually track stocks, but going prices for various beer brands. And of course the news ticker is where all the real fun would happen and would consist mostly of TEST antics, references to nipples, awful puns, and various forms of jimmy rustling.
