Giveaway: Pathfinder Arms Armor - give me your shit in return

[Ploeperpengel]

So I accidentally subcribed on emperor level for a month and got this pathfinder arms armor for which I really don't want to complete the set. Therefore I decided to give it away.
So if you would like to have it:

Give me your shitposts! The creator of the shitpost with the most likes on sunday the 16th at 18 o'clock western european time will get the gift.

Is there a rant about a particular subject where you were never sure where to post it? An awful poem you'd like to share that would make a vogons ears bleed? A hilarious gif noone knows and you have stupid story for it? Go post it.

Have fun! Prost!

 

[NaffNaffBobFace]

Random Arms

Once upon a time, was a man named 'BobFace,
Who said "If I were to win this it would be a waste"
Because although he loved flying his ships in space,
He didn't want no random arms.

But an invitation to shit-post came,
And really who could be said to blame,
For him making a crap poem, this very same,
No, he didn't want no random arms.

So please do not like this shit-post,
Just let this one coast,
Because someone else could make the most,
Of those weirdo random arms.

 

[Ploeperpengel]

Good start. In an attempt to address your concern I will also grant the winner the exclusive right to name a giftreceiver in his or her stead. We don't want weirdo random arms get in the way of shitposting :D I will of course also like any further post in order to stay impartial ;)

 

[Thugari]

shitpost? ok, right now my family is so poor we had to get my sister pregnant cause we needed the milk.

if i win i suggest the very next new member to join test gets the armor.

 

[Sraika]

*low effort shitpost*




:p

 

[Sirus7264]

Good luck topping this one mwahahaha

 

[Wolfy]

I had Chinese food recently and after a long struggle to get to the toilet I made it, only to realize I still had my pants on. I moved to release the belt and as I did I felt it. It was as if Jesus himself parted my cheeks and forced his way out to the as-of-then clean water of the toilet. That day I experienced the benevolent might of our Dear Leader as I cried out to the God Emperor Montoya for protection from the coming storm. Ripping my jeans off with a spurt of herculean strength I pulled an Iraqi Squat and the battle began. My insides declared themselves wretched and impure as a stream of molten decay and processed matter slammed like an Idris' beam weapon into the waiting abyss. Forty minutes I spent clinging to sanity like a newborn clutching a tit, near tears I could only see the glass of the mirror grow dark as pain clouded my vision.

That Spicy Shredded Beef was worth every minute of suffering. It will not be the last battle, but it will be remembered none the less for it.

 

[Sirus7264]

I had Chinese food recently and after a long struggle to get to the toilet I made it, only to realize I still had my pants on. I moved to release the belt and as I did I felt it. It was as if Jesus himself parted my cheeks and forced his way out to the as-of-then clean water of the toilet. That day I experienced the benevolent might of our Dear Leader as I cried out to the God Emperor Montoya to protect me from the coming storm. Ripping my jeans off with a spurt of herculean strength I pulled an Iraqi Squat and the battle began. My insides declared themselves wretched and impure as a stream of molten decay and processed matter slammed like an Idris' beam weapon into the waiting abyss. Forty minutes I spent clinging to sanity like a newborn clutching a tit, near tears I could only see the glass of the mirror grow dark as pain clouded my vision.

That Spicy Shredded Beef was worth every minute of suffering. It will not be the last battle, but it will be remembered none the less for it.

Ok that was pretty epic haha

 

[Wolfy]

Ok that was pretty epic haha

I'm debating starting a running blog post detailing the epics of my daily shits.

 

[Sirus7264]

I'm debating starting a running blog post detailing the epics of my daily shits.

There was the guy on youtube who recorded all of his farts for i think a year and got super famous for it.

 

[Wolfy]

There was the guy on youtube who recorded all of his farts for i think a year and got super famous for it.

I am now starting a "shits of a spaceman" series.

 

[Sirus7264]

I am now starting a "shits of a spaceman" series.

hahaha

 

[Michael]

So I accidentally subcribed on emperor level for a month and got this pathfinder arms armor for which I really don't want to complete the set. Therefore I decided to give it away.
So if you would like to have it:
View attachment 11415

Give me your shitposts! The creator of the shitpost with the most likes on sunday the 16th at 18 o'clock western european time will get the gift.

Is there a rant about a particular subject where you were never sure where to post it? An awful poem you'd like to share that would make a vogons ears bleed? A hilarious gif noone knows and you have stupid story for it? Go post it.

Have fun! Prost!

Everyone like this, so he is forced to keep his armor

 

[Michael]

I'm debating starting a running blog post detailing the epics of my daily shits.

Please use the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale

 

[Wolfy]

Please use the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale

I've already started writing the draft for the first short story about taking a shit on the 600I while watching the sun rise above loreville. The second story will feature a cutlass!

 

[NaffNaffBobFace]

I've already started writing the draft for the first short story about taking a shit on the 600I while watching the sun rise above loreville. The second story will feature a cutlass!

Isn't recording every shit you take a bit... anal?

Ba-bum-tish, great jokes like this don't come along every day ladies and gentlemen, here 'till thursday try the veal etc etc etc.

 

[Wolfy]

Isn't recording every shit you take a bit... anal?

Ba-bum-tish, great jokes like this don't come along every day ladies and gentlemen, here 'till thursday try the veal etc etc etc.

Nah I have now planned to do a weekly in universe thing. I'm gonna try to describe the experience shitting in new ships, new places, and with new people each week. Turn it into a travel show called Galactic Guano. Well more of a Travel Column, I just gotta figure out what editing software I can use to make it look decent.

 

[NaffNaffBobFace]

Nah I have now planned to do a weekly in universe thing. I'm gonna try to describe the experience shitting in new ships, new places, and with new people each week. Turn it into a travel show called Galactic Guano. Well more of a Travel Column, I just gotta figure out what editing software I can use to make it look decent.

If you have to live on the ship for a week first, it'll also throw an interesting dietary angle in too:

Anville Carrak kitchen produces military style rations, the Reclaimer foods high in Iron, the 890J only the richest of cullenry expiriances etc. That'll have an effect on the end product surely?

 

[Wolfy]

If you have to live on the ship for a week first, it'll also throw an interesting dietary angle in too:

Anville Carrak kitchen produces military style rations, the Reclaimer foods high in Iron, the 890J only the richest of cullenry expiriances etc. That'll have an effect on the end product surely?

The plan is to start by speaking of the local places to eat on loreville. Except my PC can't get me into it so I was just gonna speak about Big Benny's. If anyone wants to help me and get pics of any places to eat in Loreville that would be cool

 

[Ploeperpengel]

Random Arms

Once upon a time, was a man named 'BobFace,
Who said "If I were to win this it would be a waste"
Because although he loved flying his ships in space,
He didn't want no random arms.

But an invitation to shit-post came,
And really who could be said to blame,
For him making a crap poem, this very same,
No, he didn't want no random arms.

So please do not like this shit-post,
Just let this one coast,
Because someone else could make the most,
Of those weirdo random arms.

And we have a winning entry. Congratz! Thx everyone for your contributions. Interestingly most of you took the term "shitpost" quite literally

@NaffNaffBobFace

Your awful but creative poetic talent got you a well deserved prize of random weirdo arms! Please let me know whether you want to claim it or have it passed on to another lucky soul