This is what I did-- what should I have done?

[Rear_Intruder]

I am the admin for a small whatsapp group of less than 100 people, all but two are white Males. We use it to share technical info and arrange meets, This is not gaming related and is not officially related to a company although the title of the group could be seen as linked and we all know each other via that company.

A few days ago someone posted a joke with an image and text, when I saw it I thought ohh that is a bit racist in fact I felt uncomfortable. About an hour ago a member contacted me to say that they thought it was racist and that the phone they use belongs to their ( a different company) They explained that if a racist/homophobic ETC image was found on it that they may be disciplined and that they had to take action, they also said it was offensive

I PM'd the poster explained and asked them to remove it, without revealing who or if any one had complained This guy is one of the alpha males of the group and he flipped, went on the main wats app group and well flipped. then left, then one of my pals left. I wrote a post taking full responsibly as admin, made it clear that the group was not affiliated to the company, made a guy who is still in the original company Admin, then left. the new admin has since invited me back in as a non admin.

Its shit

(WhatsApp is a social media group application for phones allowing the sharing of images and texts , in case you are confused )

 

[Thalstan]

Things like this happen. Unfortunately, sometimes people see humor differently. While the person who made the original post may have thought it was hilarious, and indeed, his pack of friends would as well, if only to keep him from flipping out, others did not, including you.

It’s best to try and come up with rules to combat this ahead of time, but in this case, it seems none might have been in place.

Is the sharing page open to those who want within the company, or is it strictly a group of friends? For the sounds of it, it’s more open to anyone in the company who asks to join. In that case, I would make the argument that while not an official company group, with the name of the company being affiliated with it, and the openness of it, the company policy should probably prevail.

If it is purely a social group, meeting on your own time, with absolutely no company association, including the sharing of work or other technical ideas, then you just had a bunch of friends go though a nasty breakup.

My co-workers once took me to dinner at twin peaks. It was not a pre-planned destination and they all just “decided” to go one night instead of one of the other restaurants we frequent while we are in town for meetings, and I had already said I would head to dinner with them, so I could not excuse myself easily.

After that night, I rarely go out with my co-workers. I only go when required for business, and only then of the restaurant is a place I would take my wife or Mother-in-law. I miss having the same easy going out of work friendship, but if that’s really their idea of a good time, I don’t want any part of it.

 

[Montoya]

Simple rule: Dont say something on social media that you can't say directly to the persons face.

But as Thalstan said above, everybody has their own definition of what is socially acceptable, and without solid rules, people do not know the limits.

 

[August]

My co-workers once took me to dinner at twin peaks. It was not a pre-planned destination and they all just “decided” to go one night instead of one of the other restaurants we frequent while we are in town for meetings, and I had already said I would head to dinner with them, so I could not excuse myself easily.

You have a Twin Peaks themed restaurant? I fucking love that series. If you can order a meal while speaking backwards is there a prize?

 

[Radegast74]

You have a Twin Peaks themed restaurant? I fucking love that series. If you can order a meal while speaking backwards is there a prize?

You may just win the "booby" prize for mis-understanding. My understanding is that "Twin Peaks" in this context refers to female anatomy.

But dang, now I want a cup of coffee and a slice of cherry pie!

 

[Rear_Intruder]

My understanding is that "Twin Peaks" in this context refers to female anatomy.

That would cheer me up. Sarek and I like a girl with big ears.

Live long and prosper

 

[Sirus7264]

Id just tell the gun who said the racist comment "Pack sand" and move on if he leaves that's his choice if someone is offended as the admin it's your responsibility to solve the issue in the way you see fit. People come and they go and they will have followers or bring people with them it's just the way of the world running a group is tough but if you can't show that you can handle a situation like this you are most likely going to lose more members then the ones who were involved in the joke due to them losing confidence in you as their leader.

 

[Deroth]

Would have to see the joke and the following conversations to really know, but from the information provided seems to me the only thing you did wrong was surrendering your admin status.
An huge aspect of a joke is knowing the audience, he clearly didn't and is acting more like a whiny inconsiderate beta male that wants everybody to think they're a big tough alpha male.

 

[August]

You may just win the "booby" prize for mis-understanding. My understanding is that "Twin Peaks" in this context refers to female anatomy.

But dang, now I want a cup of coffee and a slice of cherry pie!

I have Googled.

Simultaneously aghast at the concept, intrigued by the concept, and aghast at myself for being intrigued.

 

[Rear_Intruder]

I have chilled out a bit now, Deroth I will PM you the text, please do not share it but feel free to comment here. Being a MOD/Admin is not easy, This was my first go and I in my 50's

 

[Talonsbane]

My co-workers once took me to dinner at twin peaks. It was not a pre-planned destination and they all just “decided” to go one night instead of one of the other restaurants we frequent while we are in town for meetings, and I had already said I would head to dinner with them, so I could not excuse myself easily.

After that night, I rarely go out with my co-workers. I only go when required for business, and only then of the restaurant is a place I would take my wife or Mother-in-law. I miss having the same easy going out of work friendship, but if that’s really their idea of a good time, I don’t want any part of it.

If going to dinner at Twin Peaks made you feel awkward, then be glad that they didn't suggest a local strip club instead. Some of the strip clubs here in the Dallas / Fort Worth area of Texas have clubs that serve great food & others that have buffet meals that are not bad at all.

You have a Twin Peaks themed restaurant? I fucking love that series. If you can order a meal while speaking backwards is there a prize?

We have a few "breastaurants" from that chain in my area as well. It's a nice place to have dinner & watch a UFC fight with friends that would like to partake in that as well.

But dang, now I want a cup of coffee and a slice of cherry pie!

I'm not a coffee drinker, but I'll definitely a slice of cherry pie.

I have chilled out a bit now, Deroth I will PM you the text, please do not share it but feel free to comment here. Being a MOD/Admin is not easy, This was my first go and I in my 50's

Being a leader among a group of people is a difficult task that is made even more so when the people of that group are friends & there is a falling out. Hang in there @Rear_Intruder as from your description of the situation you did the best that you could at the time.

 

[Radegast74]

I have Googled.

Simultaneously aghast at the concept, intrigued by the concept, and aghast at myself for being intrigued.

Americans are just very repressed...

 

[Printimus]

Sucks to hear, not everyone can be good.

 

[NaffNaffBobFace]

I've not been an admin or run a group, but I have been on forums for 20 years and I know this from seeing it over and over: The number of "Alphas" who have been taken down a peg by Mods and then flipped out outnumbers the stars in the sky, and for one simple reason - The only "Alpha" in a group is the Mod. What they say goes. If they ban the use of the word "Tuesday", you don't use the word Tuesday or accept whenever you say it it gets pulled, even if you said it by accident. You are there at the Mods discretion, even if you are an expert on whatever the groups topic is, it's not your group.

Anyone thinks they are above or immune from Moderation for whatever reason, that self entitlement is a problem waiting to happen because one day they'll be running toward the tennis court stark bollock naked and WHAM they'll be stopped in their tracks because at that point moderation will need to happen and it will happen:

So, in the long run, the group is likely better off with a flip-out and strop-off because no one has to see his anus when he hits that tennis court wall, which as you can see by the video was a distinct possibility if allowed to progress in the long run.

The only other way you could have approached this was to pull the post and then tell him rather than asking. Result would have largely been the same but you would have been called a fascist too for taking the post down without consulting him first, if he's going to loose his shit at being asked he'd have lost his shit no matter how you approached the issue.

In the best of times, in the worst of times, you were performing and performed your duty as moderator to and for the group as a whole, not to that one guy and his little clique who find that kind of crap okay or even their divine right.

Always remember, freedom of speech and freedom of opinion is not freedom from the consequences of being a twat.

Oh, and fuck Social Media. Forums fo' life, dawg.

 

[Rear_Intruder]

Thanks Guys I am over it now I only posted as I wanted to vent my frustration and Mrs Intruder was out. I had four of other guys on the group PM me with support The gist was that, I gave him a chance to take it down without anyone knowing, I did it in private and he was a prick about it.
Next step is when I see him again, I know his wife and 19 year old daughter but I think they may agree with me.