TEST Book Club - February Selection

[Printimus]

@Han Burgundy
Sorry it took so long to finish, it's been a very busy month for me! Below is my feedback on your novel. Overall it was an entertaining read and delightful story.

• The vocabulary could use a buff, it seemed a little dumbed down. I really like when I have to look up a couple words I dont know when reading a good story.
• The characters were instantly recognized and I think that is a good thing. Each had their own little persona. I especially liked the playful banter between husband and wife.
• The overall story could use a few more scenes and breaks between them. I understand this was a short story (about 140 pages), but almost half of the novel was a constant battle down on the surface of the planet.
• I really enjoyed the length of the chapters, makes for easy read-and-stop storytelling. The chapters need names though, not just a number!
• The mentioning of certain things in the SC universe was pretty neat, and then seemed a little overused. Every gun, shield generator, and so on has a name, but did not hold significance to me as the reader.
• Some parts were over explained, and some parts were explained just right.
• Probably my favorite part was the "all black Idris, Thanatos" as it emerged from the shadows to lay waste to the Mauler.
• There was good humor between the characters, mr. dickthumbs and mr. hamburger hands were classics. The sarcasm and wit of Captain Jack was superb!

I hope my critique assists you in your future writing! Job well done! Cannot wait for another piece of your work!

 

[Han Burgundy]

@Han Burgundy
Sorry it took so long to finish, it's been a very busy month for me! Below is my feedback on your novel. Overall it was an entertaining read and delightful story.

• The vocabulary could use a buff, it seemed a little dumbed down. I really like when I have to look up a couple words I dont know when reading a good story.
• The characters were instantly recognized and I think that is a good thing. Each had their own little persona. I especially liked the playful banter between husband and wife.
• The overall story could use a few more scenes and breaks between them. I understand this was a short story (about 140 pages), but almost half of the novel was a constant battle down on the surface of the planet.
• I really enjoyed the length of the chapters, makes for easy read-and-stop storytelling. The chapters need names though, not just a number!
• The mentioning of certain things in the SC universe was pretty neat, and then seemed a little overused. Every gun, shield generator, and so on has a name, but did not hold significance to me as the reader.
• Some parts were over explained, and some parts were explained just right.
• Probably my favorite part was the "all black Idris, Thanatos" as it emerged from the shadows to lay waste to the Mauler.
• There was good humor between the characters, mr. dickthumbs and mr. hamburger hands were classics. The sarcasm and wit of Captain Jack was superb!

I hope my critique assists you in your future writing! Job well done! Cannot wait for another piece of your work!

Excellent breakdown, thank you! Once again, pacing seems to be my weak point. Awe, cmon, you didn’t have to look up magneto-hydrodynamic fins? I think writing in my own universe will allow me to expand on explanation and lore, so im excited to see how folks like what I’ve come up with on my own!

THANKS AGAIN!

 

[Kiladyn]

While I love Star Citizen it definitely limits your work. We dont know the full working universe yet. I think the all black stealth Idris was cool but we dont know how much of that will be doable. Once you got your feet under you I truly enjoyed the read. I for one love battles ect. I am look9ng forward to future books from you. I do like this book and if you wanted to you could rewrite it editing it and moving it to your universe if you wanted. Would just have to change some details after the editing.

 

[Han Burgundy]

I do like this book and if you wanted to you could rewrite it editing it and moving it to your universe if you wanted. Would just have to change some details after the editing.

I thought about that for a minute, but ultimately decided to leave it be and move forward with something new. HOPEFULLY that something new will be done this year.....Hopefully.

Thanks for reading!