How about this kind of format:
This also might be specific to me, I recognize my situation is a bit of an edge case ... understatement of the year. But
@Deroth is echoing the same thing.
I'm interested in hearing, not reading in a video, otherwise your effort would be better off in a post here, or on a website or blog. If you don't like the sound of your voice, take heart. Almost everyone has a problem with the sound of their own voice. To the rest of the world, your voice would sound normal. But that video, seemed to be about the game play, with the weapons as an overlay only. Make your main topic the focus of what you're presenting.
I would start by simply showing an image of the weapon, talk about it. A few scenes to demonstrate while you talk. You can get software for doing that, actually you're obviously using something like that. A little action isn't bad, but it's about the weapon, not the gameplay - or at least I thought it was supposed to be.
Also, just something to keep in mind. You know in Youtube how there is a running count kept of thumbs up and thumbs down? This might be a bit premature to say but it's not the number of thumbs up that you should pay attention to. It's the number of thumbs down. It's kind of counter intuitive, but you want to target less than 0.2% of the count of likes. The reason why is most people won't vote, but those who like it are far more likely to vote than those who don't. Every Like might be 100 viewers. Every dislike can be thousands.
*** If you have an actual destroyed voice (that is a real thing) or impediment that might prevent someone from understanding you, there are tools to help. Isaac Arthur for example used to display an image of Elmer J Fudd and explain the situation. He's come a long way since those days. The other, and far less attractive option is an AI voice. Both Google and Microsoft have some, and there are other providers. The main drawback is, everyone knows it's an AI voice. they have a tendEncy to put the emphAsis in the wrong syllAble, and the number of mispronunciations are very high.
And before you get depressed, producing videos has a steep learning curve, and I appreciate the effort you're putting into understanding your audience!!! And sorry for the long ass post.