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Put your water-sensitive items inside your dishwasher! It is water-tight and should keep them safe....unless a tree comes crashing through your kitchen. (If your dish washer is just a human spouse holding a sponge, then be nice and use lube at least.)

NOT leave me unattended at a Chuck E. Cheese, for starters...

Instructions were unclear, and I hadn't had lunch yet. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nuh-uh, not again! Fool me once, shame on you; Fool me twice, shame on me. I had pink eye for a whole month last time.

I double-dog-dare you to turn it the hell off. Whats'a matter? Chicken??

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I don't join the voice chat because then you'd all know that I'm actually 31 hamsters and a snake, trapped in a discarded hotel bath robe, that have come to a fragile agreement.

This is one of Chuck Norris' favorite pastimes; Throwing target boards at hatchets.

My response to those people is generally: Throwing more and more money at a large project will not magically make it go faster. (A lesson I learned the hard way with blushin' Bertha-jean at the strip club) If you don't trust CIG to properly handle your money, then the solution is simple; Don't...

Nah, Americans are allowed guns because we are all silently hoping for a Red Dawn situation. Until then, we'll just practice on each other. "You cannot invade mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind each blade of grass." - Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto

This very well may be the most patriotic thing I have ever read. Amen, brother. Nobody wants to fight the crazy guy.

Yeah, well fuck them. They can't vote. Abominations. Only Xenu has the right to create life.

OH, OH, so you SAW me now? Now I have to be corporeal?!? WOW. Real insensitive to ghost-kin, guy. This simulation of an american liberal arts college-town bar conversation has been brought to you by Unkle Rick's goofy juice.

Porn? I was debating the ethical dilemma behind hunting furries for sport, had the furries developed technology that allowed them to actually assume their animal form. Imagine showing up to a Mascot orgy in your sweet new tiger bod, only to get sniped by a guy in a tree with a bow. ManBearPig...

As far as tasteless advertising goes; This here is the new American standard. (Holy shit, did you know we have handgun commercials now?!) I've been away from network TV and the advertising that went with it for a while, so when I "came back" this weekend, the Ads had me confused. Did EVERYONE...

You think the Furry end-game would be to hop into one of those fancy Gel beds and Avatar their way into some barnyard animals to bang it out? Because I have seen some shocking fan-edits of animal farm in my time...

"As the death toll rises, your discounts increase! 2% off your total bill with each confirmed casualty!" /s I'm sure that would go over wonderfully for CIG.

I think it looks like a super futuristic portable-toilet. "Take your morning shit with the wind in your hair, and luxury caressing your anus."