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What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending.

It's also possible that you now have extra mystery wires and doodads in your junk drawer.

I used to have a job at a recycling plant crushing cans. I had to quit because it was soda pressing.

Hey, what happens in Tijuana stays in Tijuana.

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks! I'll never part with it!

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed a little space.

But will there be a dwarf/elf ship going on?

Nothing new under the sun. My GF and I met in a chat community based around VRML (virtual reality modeling language) over 20 years ago

Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast

Cat mods?

One might even say he didn't go far enough. Only half? Take a look at the graph and look how quickly that'll come back on Earth

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was out standing in his field

Why did the farmer consider starting a music career after a bad harvest? Because he had a ton of sick beets.

My profile pic should indicate which one I preferred.

Why do cows have hoofs instead of feet? Because they lactose Why do milking stools have 3 legs? Because the cow has the udder

Any fans of the Wheel of Time books seen the Amazon series yet? I wanted to know what you think. I watched maybe the first 10 - 15 minutes of episode 1 and thought they had changed too much but I'm wondering if anyone who has read the books thinks its worth giving a second chance?

What does a nosy pepper do? It gets jalapeño business

Hannibal draped his but only had to fool some panicked cops and EMTs and the blood helped the disguise, but Buffalo Bill stitched his from various donors to look pretty. That movie gives you a nice compare and contrast on humanoid skin crafting

What did the math textbook say to the psychology textbook? Can I tell you my problems?

I'm trying to read all of the dune novels chronologically. Unfortunately (for me) that means starting with the books Jr. wrote. I forced my way up to the trilogy right before the original Dune novel but haven't been able to muster up the effort to start it yet. Read the original series years...