Instructions unclear. Got dick stuck in ceiling fan. Got first aid kit, instructions unclear, spiked myself in the ass with a bottle of vodka like i was a watermelon. Went to hospital. Instructions unclear, went on rampage after being released and wound up pissing off the empire state building onto a cop. Instructions unclear, told judge I would only go to jail if it had beer. Instructions unclear, beat cellmate to death with vodka bottle from ass. Instructions unclear, started screaming TEST propaganda during my execution. Was let out of execution because panel acknowledged TEST squadron is best squadron. Got home to celebrate and opened new case of beer. Instructions unclear, got dick stuck in ceiling fan......