It took a while to get its guts in...
But when I did, the THE CRABTROLLER WAS BORN!
Two analog sticks, one hat switch, two dials, and TWENTY FUCKING THREE individual programmable buttons this sonovabitch will do everything but birth your fucking children!
Oh, is that a clock/ timer in there? YOU GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS! TEST PILOTS ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!11!1
Look at those dials! Sexy! Guess what they'll do? IDFK BUT WE GOT EM! Oh, and don't even try to pretend you're not bearing the weight of three heavily insulated USB cables. With this YOU'LL NEVER FORGET!
And look at how nice it fits in your large ass manly hands. You feel like a bear getting ready to plunge grommet first into a jack-o-lantern's eye hole!
Did I forget to mention the throttle quadrant that comes hardwired to this sexy piece of ass? That's another 6 buttons, you silly asshole! You'll need a bible to remember all these keymappings!
Now give me money!