So, I am out in the field, doing out-in-the-field kinda work, when I decide to drop by a local establishment for some refreshment. The only thing currently near me was a Trader Joe's. So, I bebop on in, and after perusing the drinks section, I choose a nice Chi Tea. On the way out, I note a bag of "Salmon Jerky", and said to myself, "Hey, how bad can it be?". I really need to stop saying those sort of things, life takes it as a challenge.
Anyway, I get to the job site, and tear open the bag of "Jerky", instantly an odor assaults me, a very fishy odor. In the far distance I swore I heard a faint mewling, as if the voices of thousands of felines had cried out at once. It was to say the least, unsettling.
Undaunted, I cracked open the ziplock type seal on the bag. The only way I can describe the smell that wafted out, was if a mermaid, drunk on fish sauce, farted.
Undeterred, I decided to sally forth, and selecting a smaller piece popped it into my mouth. As I did so I heard the ominous mewling, it was getting closer.
The sensation that battered my senses was potent, fishy, and slightly nauseating, I quickly reached for something to take the taste out of my mouth, the Chi Tea. As I started to chug this down, my senses reeled from yet another assault, Ye Gawds! What fresh hell was this?! In my casual selection of beverage, I did not notice that it was a Vegan, Gluten free, All Natural concoction brewed up by some three-armed, sadistic, mad scientist with some serious social issues. This experience would forever tarnish the fond memories of Chi Tea, all because of this liquid abomination comprised of Soy Milk, Coconut Cream, Coconut Water, and Coconut Oil.
As I was gasping and gagging following this culinary catastrophe, I heard it again, the sinister mewling, but it was MUCH closer now. I seized the open bag of "Jerky" and flung it deep into a heavily weeded vacant lot.
Ever watch Jurassic Park and they show the part where you see the high grass rippling just before some unlucky lackey screams and disappears? Yeah, pretty much the same thing. I fired up my rig and decided to revisit this work site at a later date, or at least until after I had Landscaping come out and cut back some of those heavy weeds. I wonder if I should tell them about the mewling? Oh, and don't worry about the bag, it was Trader Joe's, it was bio-degradable.
Anyway, I get to the job site, and tear open the bag of "Jerky", instantly an odor assaults me, a very fishy odor. In the far distance I swore I heard a faint mewling, as if the voices of thousands of felines had cried out at once. It was to say the least, unsettling.
Undaunted, I cracked open the ziplock type seal on the bag. The only way I can describe the smell that wafted out, was if a mermaid, drunk on fish sauce, farted.
Undeterred, I decided to sally forth, and selecting a smaller piece popped it into my mouth. As I did so I heard the ominous mewling, it was getting closer.
The sensation that battered my senses was potent, fishy, and slightly nauseating, I quickly reached for something to take the taste out of my mouth, the Chi Tea. As I started to chug this down, my senses reeled from yet another assault, Ye Gawds! What fresh hell was this?! In my casual selection of beverage, I did not notice that it was a Vegan, Gluten free, All Natural concoction brewed up by some three-armed, sadistic, mad scientist with some serious social issues. This experience would forever tarnish the fond memories of Chi Tea, all because of this liquid abomination comprised of Soy Milk, Coconut Cream, Coconut Water, and Coconut Oil.
As I was gasping and gagging following this culinary catastrophe, I heard it again, the sinister mewling, but it was MUCH closer now. I seized the open bag of "Jerky" and flung it deep into a heavily weeded vacant lot.
Ever watch Jurassic Park and they show the part where you see the high grass rippling just before some unlucky lackey screams and disappears? Yeah, pretty much the same thing. I fired up my rig and decided to revisit this work site at a later date, or at least until after I had Landscaping come out and cut back some of those heavy weeds. I wonder if I should tell them about the mewling? Oh, and don't worry about the bag, it was Trader Joe's, it was bio-degradable.
