This Christmas..pick up that phone.

Patrick Spaceman

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Take the time to call loved ones, even if they are complete dicks.

Christmas is a mixed bag in my house, we remember my brother-in-law who suicided that day years ago. This year no different, except my Mother-in-law had a major heart attack two weeks back, and is in intensive care. She moved to a ward then had another heart attack, so back to intensive care. Two days back we met the surgeon to sort out an open heart bypass, today we met doctor's, cardiac head of department, nursing head, Father-in-law's medical professor bros and I think the hospital lawyer to discuss end of life, then talk about funeral arrangements with her. (Eating a bowl of broken glass would have been better if it means people won't die, but it's out of our hands). She want's to be buried in the clothes she wore to her youngest son's funeral.

This is after my Father-In-Law fell over and smacked his head on a table...he's 90. To top it off, the family dog was on his last legs, but picked up after a vet visit and expensive dog medication (always so expensive, he's lucky I love him, and right now my "this week (of all fucking weeks) out of the closet" niece is giving him a haircut) and my wife is now cancer free after two years of drug and chemo treatment, so that's a bonus, but now taking other drugs for the next five years. All isn't lost yet, there's a slim chance of of less life altering surgery for Mother-in-law, but she's a retired nurse married to a retired doctor, married 59 years and they both know what will most likely happen, and the rest of us know he'll soon follow after her if that happens, they both seem at peace with this.

This year also, i'll meet my one year old Grand Daughter for the first time, thanks Covid you suck, but i'll take a small slice of silver lining. I'll hand her back if she starts dribbling. Any rate, i'm ok I married a psychologist, but just wanted to say call your parents and siblings this year..mine are gone and my brother owes me a shit ton of cash...because he's a shit-lord scrub. (Brian..where's my money Brian? - Stewie Griffin).

Message complete....call your family even the shit-lord scrubs (especially if they owe you money haha).

Edit: Checked on the dog's haircut...still going on, looks like he started chemotherapy. Don't know if I can take him out in public, looking like a serial killer.

Update: The dog ended up with a mohawk. He's going to stare at a mirror wearing an old army jacket and ask himself..."you talkin' to me?....."
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Patrick Spaceman

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Ch
Holy crap you have/had a lot going on the last little while... I salute you!
The worst thing I'm dealing with atm is a torn MCL and catching up at work. People should definitely appreciate everything they have in life!
Thanks for this message, its needed!
Cheers! Seems to be a series of kicks in the teeth and a bad haircut for the dog.
 

Ayeteeone

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Try running the crisis in serial mode, rather than as parallel jobs.. it stretches the stress out but the peaks are easier to deal with...

My heroin-addicted sister started chemo this week for inoperable breast cancer. Her main source of support was dad, who died last year of a heart attack. One of my best friends in this life died suddenly of complications related to cancer back in July. He couldn't get to the doctors he needed to see in time. This prompted me to share the same advice you give here with my team at work.. there has been much loss in the last few years and in the end it is only really the relationships that matter. CALL THEM. Listen. Try. You lose nothing and it may be time well spent.

Grandson is almost 3, 'nother one cooking, can't get to them for Christmas.

Ex got the dog. (Honestly, a healthy symbiotic relationship, so no regrets).
 

Patrick Spaceman

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Oct 4, 2020
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Patrick_Spaceman
Try running the crisis in serial mode, rather than as parallel jobs.. it stretches the stress out but the peaks are easier to deal with...

My heroin-addicted sister started chemo this week for inoperable breast cancer. Her main source of support was dad, who died last year of a heart attack. One of my best friends in this life died suddenly of complications related to cancer back in July. He couldn't get to the doctors he needed to see in time. This prompted me to share the same advice you give here with my team at work.. there has been much loss in the last few years and in the end it is only really the relationships that matter. CALL THEM. Listen. Try. You lose nothing and it may be time well spent.

Grandson is almost 3, 'nother one cooking, can't get to them for Christmas.

Ex got the dog. (Honestly, a healthy symbiotic relationship, so no regrets).
I hope it works out for your sister, chemo is brutal. My wife's hair fell out a few days after the first round. I have heard (depending on the chemo cocktail used) that some chemo treatment actually prevents illicit drug withdrawal symptoms, could be a win/win..shrink the cancer cluster down and assist with addiction. Hopefully also the advice you shared at work gets shared further via your team, as you say it's true you lose nothing and may be time well spent.

My ex also ended up with one of the dogs, we had two a Jack Russell X and a Mastiff X something. Long story short after she ended up with the Jack Russell, big dog went missing for a week just as I was about to move house. The day before the move...both dogs turn up. He went and planned, financed and executed his own prisoner extraction mission hahaha. (he got treats).
 
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Patrick Spaceman

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We're not finished yet...

Eight weeks ago, "Diggo the dog" above, fell ill, and was pretty much a vegetable for three days, I was giving him water with a syringe and bathing him when he soiled himself, then we made the decision to put him to sleep. Technically he was my brother-in-laws dog, so I helped him carry Diggo to the car to go to the vet. On the plus side his fur had grown back, and he no longer looked like Travis Bickle.

Five weeks ago, my remaining brother-in-law Dave, hospitalized for a near diabetic coma. Father-in-law found him semi-conscious on the floor called ambulance (Father-in-law also a retired Doc - remember this). Hospital chalked it up to not looking after himself due to stress and being run-down with work. Father-in-law, not convinced tells them to perform tests unrelated to diabetes, hospital decides to "humor an old man" they come back....congratulations it's cancer...but we can't find it.

Three weeks ago, finally diagnose primary cancer in the oesphagus and Dave gets an infection around his heart and stops breathing. They bring him back but cannot start chemo due to the infection, it will kill him with no immune system, while his aggressive cancer spreads, lungs, liver, kidney, intestines.

One week ago, start chemo. He knows he's dying but wants to hold out till his niece arrives back from the US (He stepped in as her father after his brother suicided one Christmas).

Wednesday just gone, Dave died with his sister at his side, not long after I visited with his mother then took her home and his niece still stuck in quarantine. His parents in their late 80's and 90's are destroyed and i'm sadly thinking this thread will be updated twice again before Christmas.

Sorry for being depressing, just needed to get that out.
 
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