does Toast put the Toast in the toaster?
no, people put Toast in the toaster
That makes sense...
So you have access to Toaster A, which is a standard toaster. Takes two to three minutes to toast. You have to take the bread from the packet, you have to put it in the toaster, you have to plug the toaster in, you have to set how browned you want it, you have to push the handle down, you have to wait 2/3 minutes, and then you have toast.
That's quite a lot of work just to get you some toast , isn't it? Quite a lot of steps there to abort the Toast making process if you suddenly realise you don't want to toast...
But then you may have access to Toaster B , an Insta-Toaster. You put the bread in and it comes out toasted immediately. Effortless, fast, easy...
too easy...
far too easy...
Imagine the following scenarios:
- You have a bad day at work and think having some toast in the setting is the answer so take in your Insta-Toaster just to make you feel better, but today is worse than yesterday... you load up some bread, the toast comes flying out immediately, slice after slice you just run through a whole loaf in seconds before you know what's going on, on any other normal day you would not have resorted to toast but today you did, and you know what it
didn't make you feel better like you thought it would... and now you have toast on your hands.
- You are in a convenience store in the line to pay and the guy in front of you pulls out an Insta-Toaster and demands the clerk hand over the contents of the till. You have a split second to decide if are you going to hit the floor like everyone else or are you going to intervene? You wrap your arm around the robbers neck and struggle with him and the Insta-Toaster pops putting a few rounds of toast in the clerk, the robber runs... and now you have toast on your hands.
- You walk down an alleyway just after sunset. You stumble across a man making toast in front of an innocent woman. She is screaming and it's taking him a long time, as it's a standard toaster. You intervene and the woman is hurt, shaken but saved. Now repeat the scene but with an Insta-Toaster, you round the corner in the alley just in time to see the slices fly from the Insta-Toaster, she didn't even have time to scream, and now there is toast everywhere,
"There's just so much toast oh god she didn't even have time to scream if only I'd been here a minute earlier!"... But if you'd been there a minute earlier, maybe it'd have been
you who'd been toasted? After the police investigation, the witness statement, and realising after a few weeks they aren't going to catch the guy... you go and buy yourself an Insta-Toaster. Just for self protection... One night at 2am you think there is an intruder in the house at night, you give 'em both slots but it was little Tammy getting a glass of milk... and now you have toast on your hands.
- You are allowed off early from work, it's a quiet day and the boss thinks you've been pulling too many lates recently to help out - you have - so cuts you some slack and tells you to enjoy the afternoon sunshine. You head home, stopping by a florist to pick the wife up a bouquet and grab a bottle of nice wine for the evening, too. You get back but there is an unfamiliar car on the drive. You open the front door and immediately see the clothing strewn up the stairs, some of it familiar such as your wifes bra, some of it unfamiliar but obviously male. You climb the stairs, the blood rushing in your ears so loud you can't hear the throwes of passion coming from the bedroom. You open the bedroom door and everything goes red, next second you are stood there, the Insta-Toaster you keep in the night-stand in your hands... and now you have toast on your hands, too.
Yes, it's a truism Toasters don't toast, people toast - but when you have the ability to toast bread so easily you can do it on a whim, it's not just easy to toast, it's almost automatic. That's a lot of power and a lot of responsibility and a lot of people would abuse that power if it's so easy to do.