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Blind Owl

Hallucinogenic Owl
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Nov 27, 2015
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BlindOwl
That makes sense...

So you have access to Toaster A, which is a standard toaster. Takes two to three minutes to toast. You have to take the bread from the packet, you have to put it in the toaster, you have to plug the toaster in, you have to set how browned you want it, you have to push the handle down, you have to wait 2/3 minutes, and then you have toast.

That's quite a lot of work just to get you some toast , isn't it? Quite a lot of steps there to abort the Toast making process if you suddenly realise you don't want to toast...

But then you may have access to Toaster B , an Insta-Toaster. You put the bread in and it comes out toasted immediately. Effortless, fast, easy... too easy... far too easy...

Imagine the following scenarios:

- You have a bad day at work and think having some toast in the setting is the answer so take in your Insta-Toaster just to make you feel better, but today is worse than yesterday... you load up some bread, the toast comes flying out immediately, slice after slice you just run through a whole loaf in seconds before you know what's going on, on any other normal day you would not have resorted to toast but today you did, and you know what it didn't make you feel better like you thought it would... and now you have toast on your hands.

- You are in a convenience store in the line to pay and the guy in front of you pulls out an Insta-Toaster and demands the clerk hand over the contents of the till. You have a split second to decide if are you going to hit the floor like everyone else or are you going to intervene? You wrap your arm around the robbers neck and struggle with him and the Insta-Toaster pops putting a few rounds of toast in the clerk, the robber runs... and now you have toast on your hands.

- You walk down an alleyway just after sunset. You stumble across a man making toast in front of an innocent woman. She is screaming and it's taking him a long time, as it's a standard toaster. You intervene and the woman is hurt, shaken but saved. Now repeat the scene but with an Insta-Toaster, you round the corner in the alley just in time to see the slices fly from the Insta-Toaster, she didn't even have time to scream, and now there is toast everywhere, "There's just so much toast oh god she didn't even have time to scream if only I'd been here a minute earlier!"... But if you'd been there a minute earlier, maybe it'd have been you who'd been toasted? After the police investigation, the witness statement, and realising after a few weeks they aren't going to catch the guy... you go and buy yourself an Insta-Toaster. Just for self protection... One night at 2am you think there is an intruder in the house at night, you give 'em both slots but it was little Tammy getting a glass of milk... and now you have toast on your hands.

- You are allowed off early from work, it's a quiet day and the boss thinks you've been pulling too many lates recently to help out - you have - so cuts you some slack and tells you to enjoy the afternoon sunshine. You head home, stopping by a florist to pick the wife up a bouquet and grab a bottle of nice wine for the evening, too. You get back but there is an unfamiliar car on the drive. You open the front door and immediately see the clothing strewn up the stairs, some of it familiar such as your wifes bra, some of it unfamiliar but obviously male. You climb the stairs, the blood rushing in your ears so loud you can't hear the throwes of passion coming from the bedroom. You open the bedroom door and everything goes red, next second you are stood there, the Insta-Toaster you keep in the night-stand in your hands... and now you have toast on your hands, too.

Yes, it's a truism Toasters don't toast, people toast - but when you have the ability to toast bread so easily you can do it on a whim, it's not just easy to toast, it's almost automatic. That's a lot of power and a lot of responsibility and a lot of people would abuse that power if it's so easy to do.
Reminds me of the "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

Most people just choose one at random and think they're being witty. But I really like this question and enjoy breaking it down further.

Imagine an animal that is very similar to a chicken, a proto-chicken if you will. We'll call this animal Chickun. Now a chickun lays an egg, much like a chicken, but to every outside observer it is a chickun egg. When that egg hatches the chickun that emerges has a mutation which aligns it to a modern day chicken. So was it a chickun egg or a chicken egg?

Before it hatched, a chicken didn't exist as people only knew of the chickun. So therefore the egg had to be a chickun egg since something that doesn't exist cannot lay an egg. So it stands to reason that anyone familiar with chickuns would realize that animal had to lay it as it is for all intents and purposes a chickun egg in size, shape, and coloration. So the chicken came first as the egg from which it hatched didn't belong to any chicken and the new breed was created in that moment.

Now imagine someone comes along that has never seen a chickun. They simply see an egg on the ground and an animal pops out of it. They decide to name this creature "chicken". So obviously the egg was a chicken egg. As this is the only logical step to make upon seeing an egg hatch. So the egg came first in this scenario as it was first observed.

But then you decide to go deeper. People begin to argue about the origin of the chicken and whether it was truly a chickun egg or not! After all, just because the chicken hadn't existed before, doesn't mean the egg couldn't have been a chicken egg. It carried a chicken inside it, so it must be fundamentally different from a chickun egg. These people take the fact that there is now a chicken in front of them and retroactively change the properties of said egg.

I think it all depends on the perspective of the observer. For there is no record kept by the chickuns themselves.
I just heard a couple of days ago that some UK scientists said the egg was first, cos scientific reasons. So as far as I know, currently, the egg was first. This might change back to chicken by the time you read this though lul

Toasters are fun! They make delightful popping sounds! So satisfying!
Is having toast on your hands always a bad thing? Id argue no. History has proven that Insta toasters are necessary, for example.to stop men with mustaches.

Also, death to all toasters! So say we all!
That's the thing though. Are they moved to one decision over there other based on observation bias? People today know what a chicken is, so their thought process would be influenced by the fact that we know chickens exist and that they lay eggs. I should probably do more extensive research on the subject, but I'm lazy lol.

But what if chickens evolved from a creature that gave live birth? And chickens were the first in the line to actually lay eggs? That would be wild! It's an interesting thought experiment.
That's very interesting indeed. As far as I can remember, the scientists came to the conclusion based on that some molecule or something points to that the egg should have been first. But I do see your point, and ofc the research is just that, research, which means if they find new stuff while researching more, it might flip back again.
Just as a normie, I find your logic more compelling than the opposite of having an animal, known already as a chicken, change its mind and start laying eggs instead of giving live birth. Ppl would have given this new creature a new name for sure, cos it was different.

Tldr I think it all boils down to, when is a chicken a chicken, and not a chickun or whatever else they were called before laying eggs?!

And then we can start arguing whether evolution is just a distraction for us, so we don't bat an eyelid that every few thousand cycles, some new mechanics and creatures are patched in and old ones get patched out of our simulation we "live" in...
But I'd need waaay more beer for that lol
If y'all had the time to type this all out, y'all had the time to space them out over multiple posts . . .
 
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