By order of Chris Roberts: Everybody buy the new ship!

Printimus

Space Marshal
Officer
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Dec 22, 2015
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Printimus
Paragraph six, section four of the very same contract dictates that; In the event of a natural disaster, our glorious leader Montoya is to deliver life-saving fellatio to the penguins at the San Diego zoo. I didn't see our glorious leader down there after the last earthquake, so why should I honor the contract?

#Resist
I love that zoo! Best zoo ever!
 

NaffNaffBobFace

Space Marshal
Donor
Jan 5, 2016
12,234
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NaffNaffBobFace
Paragraph six, section four of the very same contract dictates that; In the event of a natural disaster, our glorious leader Montoya is to deliver life-saving fellatio to the penguins at the San Diego zoo. I didn't see our glorious leader down there after the last earthquake, so why should I honor the contract?
I bring the plaintiffs attention to the aforementioned clause required "life-saving" actions to be performed. Although there was a natural disaster the lives of the aforementioned penguins were not in jeopardy, and as such no fellatio was required on this occasion.
 

Han Burgundy

Space Marshal
Jan 15, 2016
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Han-Burgundy
I bring the plaintiffs attention to the aforementioned clause required "life-saving" actions to be performed. Although there was a natural disaster the lives of the aforementioned penguins were not in jeopardy, and as such no fellatio was required on this occasion.
Sounds like you've never found yourself dying for some fellatio....
 

Carlos Spicyweiner

Space Marshal
Donor
Oct 14, 2015
1,381
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DMGunslinger
....I also have come to understand that we are also getting paid for being excited about Star Citizen, our astroturf white knight movement has gone unnoticed until recently, but in light of recent events, there is no need to hide it anymore.

I am pleased to announce that a new method of payment has been implemented.

All members of TEST will now get store credits deposited directly into their RSI accounts. The previous system of paying you all with beer had massive logistical costs. Several members reported that the beers arrived warm and then exploded when they opened the can. To prevent further senseless loss of beer, the new store credit system will ensure that your blind support and unwavering love for Star Citizen is fairly and efficiently rewarded.

So say we all.
Okay, show of hands, who actually checked their RSI account to see if this was true...
 

SeungRyul

Spreader of Truth / Master of Hamsters
Staff member
Donor
Oct 30, 2013
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Citizen404
Issue Purchase Decree
+10% to Corporate Efficiency
+ 10 Standing with CIG
+ 3 Ban Immunities
 
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