TEST Squadron: Because Alcoholics Anonymous is for quitters.
Yes, you belong here in TEST Squadron - don't listen to your liver, it speaks lies and must be punished.
TEST Squadron: At least it's better than waking up short a kidney or two in a bathtub of ice.
At TEST, we celebrate incompetence. Incontinence too, on account of our horrific spelling. We're desperately seeking English tutors as a result.
TEST Squadron: Our wallets cry in vain while our spouses cry in shame.
9 out of 10 deceased Aurora pilots belonged to TEST Squadron - shouldn't you?
TEST Squadron: Applying LTI to Newtonian mechanics since 2944!
20/20 vision is not required to join TEST. In fact, the blurrier, the better.
TEST Squadron: Tactics, strategy, and sobriety are overrated.
Aloe and nipples: Anywhere else, it would seem erotic. In TEST, it's simply Tuesday.
TEST Squadron: Largest producer of illicit booze in the 'verse. Coincidentally also the largest consumer of such.
In TEST, the 'LT' in 'LTI' stands for 'Less than Two minutes'.
Are you a person with no regrets in life? Join TEST and we can fix that.
TEST Squadron: The 'verse's very first Olympic drinking team.
NASA said our request to study zero-G margarita mixes was 'devoid of scientific merit'. We think they want to keep all the yummy recipes for themselves.
TEST has the strictest enrollment requirements in the 'verse. Only those able to fog a mirror are allowed entry. And we have scholarships for those who aren't.
Calling us 'drunks' is hurtful and derogatory. We prefer to be known as 'sobriety impaired'.
You could do worse than by joining TEST Squadron. Not by much, but you could.
"TEST Squadron - Best Squadron" was deemed only slightly more marketable than "TEST Squadron - Marginally Acceptable Squadron".
TEST Squadron: You supply the body, we'll supply the red shirt.