Before joining the USAF, I was an EMT in central florida for just under 5 years, mainly working in a local Emergency room. I too was sucked in by everquest when I began playing it in 1999 (I was only 13) and played it well into everquest 2. Since joining the military things happened, insomnia lead me to see behavioral psychologists, which lead to mental health counselors, which lead to prescribing psychologists. I used to be able to look people in the eye no problem, throw myself into any situation no matter how horrifying it would be, but as soon as the need for me to do such things subsided it's like my mind started reviewing my past and playing catch up. Playing video games was a good enjoyable escape back in the day, but trying it when all this started to unfold gave me the same results. I'd open a game. stare at it, click around for a bit and then get off. Pace around my room not knowing what i wanted to do and eventually going to bed. I replaced the pacing with pre-workout bodyweight workouts and dumbell workouts in the comfort of my own room. That accompanied with loud music focused my scattered thoughts. Instead of thinking about everything else I was thinking about simply working out. I cant stress enough how much it's helped me out. Still there would be times I would fall into a slump where I couldn't be bothered to eat, shower, wash clothes, etc... i still went to work, i could carry on like normal, but when i got home i just shut off. I asked my psychologist why this was, and was told it's something called "burnout syndrome". You can't be bothered to even make the smallest decisions, which brings this full circle to video games. For me, that loss of interest was really just being asked to make a decision in the video game. When we watch something on youtube or twitch, we aren't making the decisions, the streamers and youtubers are. I don't know if has anything to do with the structure of the military or not, but the combination of PTSD and a lack of structure outside of military life, or anyones normally structured life pretty much creates an environment where were left thinking way more than we should be acting. Solution? No clue. Still working on it. I hope this helps someone.
