Depression and gaming

JonSpencer

Admiral
Aug 26, 2018
85
373
700
RSI Handle
jondspen1
Just found this 5 year old thread, but nice comforting to know there are others here dealing with the same stuff. Some days gaming helps, some days it brings back too many memories. Hurts most when family/friends, who want to help, inadvertently 'condemn' you for your SI - aka "Oh, you shouldn't think stuff like that!". Yea, no shit - but I do. The solution for me is to not ignore it anymore, nor let their discomfort with the topic prevent me from being honest. I don't blab about it, what I went through or am currently going through, but when I do feel the need to talk about feeling down or indifferent, I talk about it. Family/friends love and are rightly scared; I just try to let mine know when I do talk about it, that I need to get my feelings out; all they have to do is care enough to listen - not fix, not make it better, not cheer me up - just listen. I don't think people understand how much it means to those with depression when someone is accepting enough to just be there with them during the low times.

Peace and love to all my TEST brothers and sisters! May your angles give you peace, may your demon give you strength! Semper Fidelis!
 
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Sadebreth

Commander
Jul 3, 2022
11
66
100
RSI Handle
Sadebreth
I have suffered from depression all my life because of various things my dad and my step-mom did to me when I was really young and my parents divorce. I used games as an escape, but nothing could prepare me for watching my wife of nearly 24 years die of cancer in 2016. We found out she had breast cancer and of course did all the necessary steps to try and get rid of it. She had to have a double mastectomy to get rid of her breasts and of course the chemo and radiation. We thought we had it beat but almost 2 years later she started having major back pain that only Norco could get rid of. Come to find out she had a tumor growing off the bone in her hip and it was pushing on her spine. After they put her in the hospital it was all downhill from there. The hospital did 2 full body scans and found more tumors. The biopsy showed that this cancer actually had a different signature. She had 2 types of breast cancer in her body and they only caught one. The second was the most aggressive. All me and my 2 kids could do is watch her fade away for a month and a half before they put her in hospice to die.

I took some time to take care of my kids after she passed and all I could think about was "I should have spent more time with her instead of playing games." For about 5 years I blamed myself for not spending more time with her and stayed away from games. Until one day my daughter asked me to play Final Fantasy XIV with her. I couldn't say no. So here I am again. I now find games as a way to spend more time with my kids.
 

Jolly_Green_Giant

Space Marshal
Donor
Jun 25, 2016
1,277
4,472
2,650
RSI Handle
Jolly_Green_Giant
I have suffered from depression all my life because of various things my dad and my step-mom did to me when I was really young and my parents divorce. I used games as an escape, but nothing could prepare me for watching my wife of nearly 24 years die of cancer in 2016. We found out she had breast cancer and of course did all the necessary steps to try and get rid of it. She had to have a double mastectomy to get rid of her breasts and of course the chemo and radiation. We thought we had it beat but almost 2 years later she started having major back pain that only Norco could get rid of. Come to find out she had a tumor growing off the bone in her hip and it was pushing on her spine. After they put her in the hospital it was all downhill from there. The hospital did 2 full body scans and found more tumors. The biopsy showed that this cancer actually had a different signature. She had 2 types of breast cancer in her body and they only caught one. The second was the most aggressive. All me and my 2 kids could do is watch her fade away for a month and a half before they put her in hospice to die.

I took some time to take care of my kids after she passed and all I could think about was "I should have spent more time with her instead of playing games." For about 5 years I blamed myself for not spending more time with her and stayed away from games. Until one day my daughter asked me to play Final Fantasy XIV with her. I couldn't say no. So here I am again. I now find games as a way to spend more time with my kids.
There's not too much I can really say to this other than were happy you're here and I hope it helps you find peace. Lifes hard man, but it looks like time is helping you heal. I'm glad to hear you're able to play video games with your daughter, that must mean a lot to both you and her.

Don't carry the weight of regret on your shoulders. Enjoy what you have in front of you.


Much love.
 
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