There's not too much I can really say to this other than were happy you're here and I hope it helps you find peace. Lifes hard man, but it looks like time is helping you heal. I'm glad to hear you're able to play video games with your daughter, that must mean a lot to both you and her.I have suffered from depression all my life because of various things my dad and my step-mom did to me when I was really young and my parents divorce. I used games as an escape, but nothing could prepare me for watching my wife of nearly 24 years die of cancer in 2016. We found out she had breast cancer and of course did all the necessary steps to try and get rid of it. She had to have a double mastectomy to get rid of her breasts and of course the chemo and radiation. We thought we had it beat but almost 2 years later she started having major back pain that only Norco could get rid of. Come to find out she had a tumor growing off the bone in her hip and it was pushing on her spine. After they put her in the hospital it was all downhill from there. The hospital did 2 full body scans and found more tumors. The biopsy showed that this cancer actually had a different signature. She had 2 types of breast cancer in her body and they only caught one. The second was the most aggressive. All me and my 2 kids could do is watch her fade away for a month and a half before they put her in hospice to die.
I took some time to take care of my kids after she passed and all I could think about was "I should have spent more time with her instead of playing games." For about 5 years I blamed myself for not spending more time with her and stayed away from games. Until one day my daughter asked me to play Final Fantasy XIV with her. I couldn't say no. So here I am again. I now find games as a way to spend more time with my kids.